Flawlessly Flawed
by Flawless Beauti
Summary: Sora and Roxas move to a new town for new beginnings. But what happens when their past can’t seem to let go and let scars heal? Yaoi, no twincest, AU
1. New Beginnings

**Title: Flawlessly Flawed  
Author: Flawless Beauti me  
Rating: PG to R  
Pairings: Eventual Demyx and Zexion, Axel and Roxas, Sora and Riku  
Warnings: Language, sexual content, cutting, child abuse, attempted suicide. In other words, it's not for the faint of heart though it's all mostly mild stuff. I couldn't write hard R if I tried  
Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, own Kingdom Hearts or any character associated with it. I own the stories I write, the ideas/plots, and any quirks I may give said characters which I do not own. **

**Extra: The idea for this came from the story Perfect Match on fan fiction. I wondered what would happen if it had been reversed and some things switched around. Therefore, half of the plot came from its amazing -gushes- writer, Beutelmaus. Also this is going to be my first WIP, so bare with me, as this is slightly uncharted territory. This will be updated semi-frequently, as in sometimes every two weeks and sometimes bi-weekly. If you feel I am moving too slow, or maybe even have a nice twist or kink you wish I could entwine in the story, PM me and let me know. I will do my best, but please:**

**Don't expect me to change the entire plot for you. You aren't that special. Sorry for the long author's note. It won't be this long again. That is all.**

_Silence._

It was all he ever heard any more. Not that he really minded. After hearing screaming for so long he supposed silence was an improvement. He tapped out a faint beat against the steering wheel, fingers itching to turn the radio on. But Sora was asleep, curled into a tiny ball so he could fit into the passenger seat. Roxas glanced over at him, allowing a brief and almost invisible smile to pass over his face before he turned back to the road once more. The gentle hum as the wheels passed over road was comforting, in its own way. He felt he needed all the comfort he could get. That thought brought emotions better left unfelt to his attention, and he pushed them back down, focusing on the road and the blurry outline of a town in the distance.

_Darkness._

It was something he never saw anymore. Though he couldn't say he missed it. Darkness was evil and dangerous; it had always been dark when the pain began. He shook his head furiously, clearing his thoughts. He had thought he was passed this. Though, he mused, he should have known better, as it hadn't even been three months. He felt that small stir of something in his chest and looked at Sora. Sora always made it better, even if he didn't know it. His Sora, the one who was terrified of the dark now and didn't like to talk much; Sora, who had been so full of life with such a sunny personality, and who was now anti-social and withdrawn. He didn't like where his thoughts were headed.

_Pain._

The one emotion he knew all too well. He could identify with this emotion. Unlike most, he didn't fear pain. There had even been a time where he had craved it. He still did, at times. He wondered idly if it were normal to consider pain an ally, and quickly decided it wasn't. Though what about him was normal he wasn't sure. Sora knew pain too, something Roxas wasn't proud of. He was oldest dammit, he should have protected him. He hushed the rational part that said he was only older by three hours, and that he had actually helped him a lot. He didn't want rational; he didn't understand it. He wanted rage

_Rage._

It was yet another familiar face in this endless stream of emotions. He understood rage, and rage understood him. It was a mutual compromise, really. Rage would come out and play when Roxas would let him, and in return Roxas didn't have to face his true feelings. No, wait. That didn't come out right. Roxas resisted banging a fist on the steering wheel. He hated it when inner Roxas decided to make an appearance and tell him things he wanted left unsaid. He enjoyed rage. Not because it was a cover-up for hurt or fear or any other meek emotion. He liked rage because it made him feel in charge, unlike how he had been his entire life. No, wait. Dammit, that wasn't right either. Roxas decided to stop thinking as they pulled into the town.

It was a fairly quick process, once they had found the right place. The apartment was already theirs, fully furnished. Roxas  
signed the agreement and began unpacking the clothes they had brought with them, letting Sora sleep a bit longer. Around nightfall he woke  
him up and they trudged into the bright room that marked the entrance way. Roxas surveyed quickly. He admitted Sora was quiet the decorator,  
even when he was on the edge of a mental breakdown. The living room was done in black and white, with a curved sofa that faced a mahogany table and small plasma television set. The abstract paintings that adorned the white walls were rather nice as well.  
He could just see the kitchen from where he was standing, and he decided silver and green was nice. It made the appliances sparkle while adding soothing tones that were the walls. He turned to Sora and noticed his lip quiver softly. With only the slightest hesitation he placed an arm around him and gave him a rare grin. "You are quite  
the decorator." He said, deciding it was worth grinning to see a small spark in his little brother's eye again. Sora grabbed his hand and pulled him into the apartment, through the living room and into a plain hallway. He gestured to the doors on either side. Roxas opened the one to his left and flicked on the light quickly.

This was his room and he knew it immediately. Sora had really outdone himself here. Roxas gazed in slight awe at the red and grey room around him. How on earth Sora had managed to get the walls to match exactly right with the bedspread was beyond him. And the grey accents on everything? A perfect finishing touch. He turned around and ruffled Sora's hair lightly, causing the younger boy to scowl and dunk away before opening the door directly across from his room. Sora's room was a variety of blues and blacks, which didn't look as emo as when Sora had told Roxas about it. Roxas wandered out of the room and to the end of the hall and the last door. He opened it and stared a moment before shaking his head. He really should have expected it. Sora always had loved the ocean. Who would pass up an opportunity to design their dream bathroom, anyway? He walked back out, leaving the lights on and following the noise to the living room. Sora was sprawled on the couch, flicking through the television. "Tomorrow we're going grocery shopping, alright?" Sora nodded up at him and Roxas nodded too, feeling strangely pleased. Really maybe The Incident had some upsides too. Look at the money they had now, and the apartment besides. They wouldn't have to work for a while, even if they splurged completely. Not that they would, Roxas thought as he settled beside his twin and began playing with the brown hair. Because simple was good, at least for them. Though the power bill might be a bit expensive.

**A/N: I personally think it's a short chapter, but it was meant to be a slight insight to their lives, and the way Roxas thinks. This will probably all be told in Roxas' view. Also, this is un-beta'd, and have I mention I suck at formatting? Critism is love. Next chapter will most likely be up sometime next week. Depends on if anyone thinks I have a shot at this being a good story. See how reviews are important?**


	2. And So it Begins

_I am looking for a beta reader. Not su much for grammer and punctuation as for damn formatting. I have no idea how people get their stories to look all neat and pretty when I can't. -pouts-  
Also I am planning for this story to have short but numerous chapters. Therefore you won't get much information each chapter. Chapter 5 is when I'm planning on spicing things up, but that's only the idea._

_Let me know how the formatting works for you. I swear I'm trying. -is shot-  
See Chapter 1 for disclaimer and warnings._

_--------------------------------------------------------_

**School.**

The venom in his voice as he said that word was immense. It wasn't really that he didn't like school. He loved it, actually. He loved most of the teachers, learning in general, and the library. The library was where he had spent most of his days before. It had been his sanctuary, Maybe that was why he was dreading going there now.

He wasn't scared of the memories. He had blocked most of them out, anyway. So what was it then? He thought about this as he donned the school uniform, khaki pants with a white shirt and red vest. He didn't like thinking about such things, but Cloud had suggested he might like to try. Cloud was okay, for a guidance counselor. Roxas had even heard he was moving up this way too, so he could keep an eye on them.

He sighed heavily, moving to the kitchen and beginning breakfast. He thought way too much lately, and never about what he wanted to. His thoughts seemed to jump around, crashing into one another in a torrent of words and pictures and never ceasing. It was enough to drive one insane, really. He had thought he was insane once before. Maybe he had been. Can one stop being insane?

He sighed again, moving the now cut-up fruit to the table and hollering for Sora to quicken up. He didn't like thinking. It was when Inner-Roxas loved to make an appearance and force his thoughts into uncharted territories. Sora arrived and slumped down, nibbling on a piece of orange and trying not to yawn. Roxas resisted the urge to laugh. Here he was, trying to determine if he was crazy or if it was normal to feel like you had two people inside your head, and Sora was trying not to fall asleep. It really was comical. Too bad Roxas didn't laugh anymore.

Half an hour later and they were standing under the archway that led to the school grounds. Roxas really didn't understand this flipping feeling he was currently experiencing. It wasn't as if he were nervous. Maybe he was worried for Sora. Sure they had every class but one together, but he was older. They were new. Sora was virtually damaged goods. Who knew what might happen in that one class. Why had Roxas chosen Creative Writing when he knew, had he been thinking, Sora would choose Art?

He felt a slight tug on his hand and glanced down as Sora entwined their fingers and squeezed. Roxas squeezed back. In that slight moment Roxas grew confident. Sora trusted him. Besides, he really wasn't that much older. Sora would be fine for one hour. With a firm shake of his head and a blatant ignoring of the confused look Sora gave him, he

tugged his twin under the arch and into the school building. Their lockers were side by side, somewhere on the….S Hall, wherever that was. Roxas decided they could find it after their second class, when they would actually have something to put in it. He said this aloud, and Sora nodded in agreement. "Lunch is our fifth period, and for sixth period I have Creative Writing and you have Art. I'm thinking we stop by our lockers again before going to lunch; to drop off any new books we have."

He prattled as they joined the mass of students pouring into the halls. They pushed their way towards the office and slumped against a wall with relief. A moment later a tall man stopped before them. "You two must be our new students, Roxas and Sora correct?" Roxas nodded for them, seeing as Sora had suddenly went silent. "My name is

Marluxia, and that is what everyone here calls me. I'm sure you two will do the same." The man –Marluxia- said. He nodded his head, seeming oblivious to the fact that Roxas was too busy gaping at the pink hair to reply. "So your first class is Algebra and if you'll follow me I'll show you where it is but after that you're on your own because

really I can't waste time showing new people around when I have principal stuff to do now can I?" Roxas took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how he had managed to say all that without breathing; Roxas had only been listening and he was out of breath. Marluxia led them to their first class which was actually rather close. It also happened to be on

Hall S, meaning their lockers should be somewhere nearby. Roxas muttered this to Sora, who paused before nodding back slowly. "Well here we are this is your math class and the teacher's name is Leon and I'm sure you can introduce yourselves without me but if you need me I'll be in the Theatre." With that he spun around and, Roxas swore,

pranced back up the hallway and out of sight. They stood awkwardly outside and Roxas seriously considered just going home. He was old enough to take his GED anyway. As if sensing his twin's thoughts Sora pulled him up to the door and motioned him to open it. Roxas sighed heavily and mentally groaned before tugging the silver handle down and pulling.

Eighteen pairs of eyes stared at them. Roxas knew because the silence lasted long enough for him to count them. A gray haired man, the teacher he presumed, gave them an appraising look before nodding. "Class this is Roxas and Sora…?" He paused and glanced at them expectantly. Sora gripped his hand tighter and Roxas swallowed. "I'm

pleased to meet you." He murmured, glossing over the unspoken question. br "I'm Leon and this is Algebra. You will hate it and it will hate you, but you have to learn it. There's two seats close to the back, last row and third column." Roxas dragged a suddenly resisting Sora through the aisle and they sat down. The boy in front of Sora turned around

with a small smile. "Hey I'm Demyx." Sora paused before nodding. Demyx turned to glance at Roxas, who spared him no more than a curt nod back. Demyx grinned, obviously pleased with this simple exchange, and turned back around. Class was almost over when Roxas noticed they were passing notes.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.


	3. It's All Peaches and Cream

"Roxas," Roxas turned, sighing in relief at the softly spoken word. His twin looked up at him. "How was class Sora?" Sora smiled and Roxas found himself almost smiling back. "Demyx was in there." Roxas felt his face fall. "Oh?" Sora nodded.

"He invited us to sit with him and his friends. They don't seem bad." Roxas frowned, his lips pursed. "Roxas please! Just give them one chance." Roxas sighed heavily, arguing with himself. On one hand Sora never tried to make friends this quickly, and he obviously liked the boy. On the other hand they seemed trustworthy and that was never a good thing in his opinion. His brother's happiness won out and he sighed again.

"Alright, just this once. Where are they?" Sora grinned and slammed his locker shut before slipping his hand into his brother's. "In the lunchroom somewhere." Roxas nodded and allowed himself to be pulled toward the noise with only minimal resistance.

Ten minutes later and Roxas watched a grinning Sora and tried to remember this was for his brother. He tried to remember he hadn't smiled this much around anyone but Roxas, and while he wasn't talking aloud yet Roxas had never seen him so relaxed. This still didn't stop the scowl that stretched across his face every time one of _them_ talked. It wasn't that he didn't like them.

They seemed perfectly likeable people, albeit a bit odd. They weren't bothered by Roxas' scowl or Sora's silence, and filled the silence with mindless chatter without making it awkward or even that noticeable. Roxas just didn't trust them. He didn't trust the way that Demyx person was so damn bubbly. He didn't like the way Riku looked at his brother, and he sure as hell didn't like the way Zexion stayed silent, staring at them both as though he could tell what they were thinking. T

he only thing that made him slightly pleased about the whole situation was the way both Sora and Roxas hated, with a passion, the red head at the end. Sora wouldn't even glance his way, Roxas thought with a smirk. The red head caught his eye and Roxas felt his smirk grow. "Good to see you smiling." Roxas felt the smirk fall and a familiar scowl take its place. "What do you mean Axel?" Demyx asked, looking up from the paper Sora had just written on. Axel winked at him, grinning. "Nothing really Dem; it's mine and Blondie's inside joke."

If Roxas had been pissed before it was nothing compared to how he was now. He felt himself start to rise when a soft hand gripped his. He glanced down at Sora, who shook his head. Roxas sighed and raised his eyebrows. Sora shook his head again. Another sigh from Roxas, this time slightly more huffy and a pout, was still met with a shake of Sora's head. Roxas sighed and sank down again, glaring at his brother who grinned widely.

"Thanks Rox." Roxas grunted and tried to stop his traitor of a mouth from grinning. Unfortunately Sora saw and before Roxas knew it had poked him in the side. Roxas yelped and jumped up. "Sora that isn't funny." Sora slammed his head on the table, shoulders shaking. Roxas slapped his head playfully and Sora glanced up, wiping the tears away. Roxas glared at him and Sora grinned brightly. He pursed his lips as his twin pouted. Roxas wiggled his eyebrows and Sora snorted. "I win." Sora snorted again. "You wish."

Roxas smiled slightly before turning back to the suddenly silent table and realization washed over him. He felt Sora's hand snake out and clutch his as the table stared unabashedly at them. Roxas straightened his shoulders and raised an eyebrow. Demyx started laughing. "Well I'll be damned." Riku joined in. "He can talk. And Blondie even smiled!" The table dissolved into giggles Roxas thought sounded more girly than anything.

Roxas and Sora stared at each other, one looking as though he was struck by lightning and the other as if he had been sentenced to execution.

Sora cautiously reached out and tapped Demyx hand. He looked up, still grinning. "You guys are…okay?" Demyx stopped laughing. "Of course. Why wouldn't we?" Sora shook his head and grabbed the paper back, jotting something down before handing it to Roxas.

"He doesn't normally talk in front of people." Roxas said with a slight shrug. Demyx mimicked the action. "So? I like writing notes." Roxas knew his mouth had dropped but he was powerless to close it again. Demyx looked at him oddly.

"It isn't that bad really. If he wants to write everything down then I will too. Isn't that what friends are for?" Roxas closed his mouth with a snap and glanced at Sora, who looked like he might cry. Roxas swallowed past the lump in his throat- it's those damn school rolls, he thought to himself- and stood up. "

Yeah. Sora and I won't be in sixth period; something came up." Riku opened his mouth, probably to ask a question, and Demyx clamped a hand over his mouth with a nod at Sora. "We'll see you tomorrow then?" Roxas hesitated, and then shrugged. "More than likely." Demyx nodded and grinned slightly. "Let me know if you need anything." Roxas bristled slightly before Demyx caught his eye.

The retort he had died on his lips at the true _concern_ he saw. Well. That was new. Instead he nodded, albeit a bit slowly, and grabbed his twin before slipping out of the lunchroom and heading home.

Axel sighed at the silent table. "Anyone else get the feeling things haven't been peaches and cream for those two?" Demyx nodded and sighed. "Sora seems wiling enough to trust us though." Zexion was, surprisingly, the one to answer. "Maybe that's why Roxas is so overprotective and cold; he has to be suspicious to protect his twin."

Nobody had an answer for that.


	4. Confusion

Roxas curled around his shaking twin and nuzzled his hair affectionately. They had been like this since leaving school almost four hours earlier. Roxas knew he should probably get up and start on dinner but the warmth that was Sora wouldn't let him.

He had been in shock as they walked home. Not only had Demyx actually been concerned, but Roxas had promised to sit with them tomorrow. It was mind-boggling to him. As Sora had slept Roxas had made a mental list of why they shouldn't hang out with them. It was the same list he had made a countless number of times. Then he had made a list of why they couldn't be trusted. He pointedly ignored the voice that said everything Roxas had listed for Demyx was how his brother used to be.

That voice was damn annoying. He knew they couldn't get to know them. It was too dangerous. They would get hurt. Those people couldn't possibly really like them, or be willing to actually try to. But they acted like they did. Roxas shook his head furiously and disengaged himself from Sora.

He wouldn't get started on that line of thinking again. He wandered into the kitchen, ruffling his hair tiredly. He sat down in one of the chairs and slammed his head against the table. This wasn't good.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.They weren't supposed to be talking to other people. Sora wasn't supposed to have a class without him. Sora wasn't supposed to already be talking in front of people.

Roxas wasn't supposed to already be imagining getting to know them. And why on earth were they so damn _accepting?_ He couldn't even hate them now, because they had given him no reason to. They accepted Sora's silence and Roxas' moods without question, going so far as to offer help if he needed it.

He lifted his head and slammed it back down.

Things weren't supposed to be like this.  
This hadn't happened before, since the Incident.  
He had forgotten how he was supposed to act.  
Demyx had called them friends.  
He had stopped the other boy from asking questions.

He had respected their privacy and not pushed about anything. Roxas _liked _Demyx, and that was not acceptable. He knew why. He reminded him of Sora, before he became this Sora. He made Sora comfortable enough to talk, even if it wasn't to them.

He didn't understand how.  
He felt like a traitor.  
He felt like he was failing his brother all over again.  
He had sworn to protect him; to keep everyone away.

But how can you keep someone like Demyx, kind and understanding Demyx, away? This was never supposed to happen. Roxas felt the emotion in his gut; so strong it felt as though he had swallowed a boulder. Heat pricked at his eyes and he linked furiously.

He didn't have to worry because this wasn't going to happen. He would stop it before it started this time. He lifted his head to slam it back down when cool hands caught it.

Roxas felt his head being lifted and he looked up into his twin's eyes, brighter than usual with worry. "Roxas it's alright." Roxas scoffed but nodded. "Of course it is Sora." He sighed when Sora bit his lip and stood up, pulling his other half into a loose hug.

"Go take a shower Roxas. I'm going to go get something to make tacos." Roxas started almost immediately but relaxed and nodded. The store wasn't even a floor down, and the security was top-notched. So he nodded and went to the bathroom, undressing quickly and turning the water as hot as he could stand it.

Hot water was an unusual thing; he cogitated as he scrubbed his hair. It burned even as it relaxed; a true two-edged sword. He felt the tension leave him slightly as he heard Sora bang around the kitchen.

He scrubbed his body until it was redder than the water had made it and let the water run over his face until it burned. He heard the front door open and close again, and at once unwanted thoughts crowded his mind.

He sank to the bottom of the tub slowly and curled into a ball, repressing the urge to laugh bitterly. Now wasn't the time for that mental breakdown he'd been promising himself since three and a half months ago. He didn't have time for breakdowns, not when he was busying trying to hold Sora up.

But the thoughts were relentless. They swirled in his head, never pausing from their tirade. Without a breath between them they came with all the subtlety of an erupting volcano. Roxas thought the analogy almost scarily accurate; between the heat from the water and the emotions inside him he too felt like he was going to burst.

The steam was suddenly too thick and he couldn't breathe. It hadn't bothered him before but he needed to take a cool breath of air _right at that moment_. He jerked the shower curtain away and leaned over the side, gasping as if he had been drowning.

He curled back up under the spray and shook. Sora would be back soon, he knew. But suddenly that didn't matter, nor did the fact that the bathroom floor was going to be covered with water if he didn't shut the curtains. For once again in his life Roxas couldn't stop the flood of emotions that threatened to consume him, and his mean of coping was a promise and his twins' tears away.

So he screamed, loud and hard until his voice gave out. Then he shut off the water, dried his body and the floor, dressed calmly and walked out to have dinner. He didn't have time for a mental breakdown, after all.

**-x-x-x-x-**

"What happened to your voice?" Roxas sighed and decided he needed to stop doing that. There was way too much sighing going on lately. Like how Sora had sighed when he realized Roxas couldn't speak because he had screamed himself hoarse.

Sora made a strange sound and glared at him before ripping the paper away from Demyx and writing on it almost frantically. Roxas decided it was impossible to avoid someone when you had _ever-single-fucking-class-with-them-thank you very much._

Demyx raised his eyes from the note and looked at Roxas, who stared back resolutely. It was the first class of the day and Roxas was already contemplating slamming his head against the nearest hard surface. Not that Demyx was bothering him really. H

e had said hello and then asked that question. Nothing bothering about that at all. He wondered if it was bad to have a commentary going on inside your head.

Sora poked him sharply in the ribs and nodded to the other boy. Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Do you often scream yourself hoarse?" Roxas thought about that.

He used to, but hadn't so much anymore now he had a choice. But Demyx didn't know that. Roxas smirked, nodded, and waited to hate him. Unfortunately that moment never came. Instead Demyx raised an eyebrow of his own and grinned. "Must be a great stress reliever."

Roxas avoided looking at his twin; he didn't feel like seeing the self-satisfied smirk he knew he would be receiving.


	5. Medicines and Manipulative Brothers

The days passed and Roxas got his voice back; something he was eternally grateful for. It had been rather bothersome for everyone when neither of the twins could/would talk.  
Eventually the months passed and Roxas realized, with only slight horror, that he was becoming _fond _of the strange group of friends. Point in case: he had _teased _Riku when he had gazed at Sora too long, rather than snapping at him. Teased him.

He felt humiliated later that night when he realized what he had done, but the smile Sora had given him at the time had been worth it. It bothered him though that he couldn't remember when his feelings for the odd group, save that damn red-head, had changed from grudging acceptance to cautious trust.

It bothered him so much he lost himself in thought often and lay awake at night. It was a week of that before Sora grew tired of him and told him. "Remember when I was sick?" And then Roxas did.

_Roxas was a nervous wreck. Sora had been hacking all night and was too weak to get out of bed. He clutched the covers to him weakly and shied away when Roxas tried to get him to eat, claimed the smell was making him nauseous. So Roxas fluttered around like a mother hen, unable to do more then hold him as h__e shook._

After two days with slowly worsening symptoms Roxas had left him alone and drove to the nearby pharmacy where he attempted to explain the symptoms to a very confused looking worker. "Roxas?" Roxas spun around and came face to face with a hesitant looking Demyx shielding Riku. He turned back around but thoughts of Sora shivering in the bed had him spinning to face the flustered duo.

"Thank god you're here. These people are idiots and Sora's sick and I don't know what to give him." Demyx looked thoughtful a moment."What are his symptoms?" Roxas rattled _off everything he co__uld think of and Demyx turned to Riku. "_

Sounds like _a stomach virus to me." Riku nodded and turned to the young woman who was watching the exchange, instructing her to get something Roxas had no hope of ever saying. He bounced impatiently as the woman retrieved the medicine and evaded any conversation that they tried to draw him into. The medicine firmly in a bag and the money in her hands he started ou__t__ the door and then paused and turned to look over his shoulder._

"Thanks." Demyx grinned brightly and smacked Riku over the head, causing him to snap his mouth shut. "Don't mention it! _I told you already, that's what friends are for." Roxas spared them a slight smile before rushing back home._

_Two days later Sora was still pale but back in school, much to Roxas' relief. Demyx seemed happy as well, insisting Sora not waste energy writing notes and instead inserting what he thought Sora would say into the conversation, much to everyone's amusement. Roxas glanced around the tabl__e and his eyes settled on Riku, who was looking at Sora with something akin to awe in his gaze._

Not that Roxas blamed it; the way Sora was laughing, head thrown back and hair accented by the light, was breathtaking. Roxas _kicked him under the table and Riku grunted in surprise, eyes going from Sora to Roxas._

Roxas raised his eyebrows and tilted his head towards his brother,_ fighting back a smirk at the blush Riku was suddenly sporting. Riku was looking at him nervously as Roxas narrowed his eyes at him, trying to look properly serious and angry._

Riku shrank back slightly and Roxas started laughing. _"Oh god, your face!"__ Riku looked at him oddly a moment before he started laughing too. Roxas waved off Sora's confused face __and fought down his laughter. He glanced back up at Riku and they cracked up again. "Maybe you aren't as bad as I thought." Roxas said, studying the silver __haired__ boy across from him._

"Here; I'm Roxas." Roxas held a hand across the table and Riku clasped it. _"Riku."__ Roxas turned back to Sora and shrugged slightly. Sora stared at him before offering him a smile._

_"Hey Demyx?"__ Demyx paused as they walked out of the lunchroom. "Let me see your cell phone." Wordlessly Demyx handed it over. "Since you and Sora have the same class. I expect you to call if something happens, so…take care of him ok?"_

Without another word Roxas handed the silver phone back to a stunned Demyx and walked off. Demyx stared after him before breaking into a grin.

**x-x-x**

"No way." Sora sighed loudly, throwing his hands into the air. "Why not?" Roxas glared at him from across the table. "Because."  
"Why?"  
"I said so."  
"Not a reason."  
"Is too."  
"Not."  
"Too."  
"Roxas all the want is for us to celebrate Demyx turning eighteen. It's dinner and that is it. You like Demyx remember? He's the one who can call your cell phone just because and you humor him, remember?"

Roxas didn't drop his glare at Sora sighed. "All we do is go and eat and then we and leave. I already know what we can get him for a present." Roxas sighed and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. Sora suppressed a smile and plunged on. "It's not like we don't like them. I mean when have they ever pushed us to do anything we didn't want to?" When Roxas didn't answer Sora poked him.

"Never. They never have." Sora smiled at the defeated tone Roxas used. "Exactly: never." When Roxas made no move to talk Sora lowered his voice.

"Roxas they're better than any friends we've ever had and most family too. The first time they do something to make us rethink trusting them we call it off, alright? But for now they haven't been anything but good to us. Roxas I trust them and I know, whether you want to admit it or not, that you do too. So for once don't think about what they may do; think about what they have been doing."

Roxas sighed again and opened an eye and looked at Sora's pleading face. "You planned that all conversation didn't you?" Sora grinned hopefully at him and he sighed again. "Damn brothers and their damn manipulative tendencies. Fine we'll go alright? Now what exactly do you have in mind for a gift?"

Sora squealed and threw himself at Roxas who was in the process of walking away. They both went sprawling and Roxas glared half-heartedly at Sora who smiled down at him. "If you keep that up your face will stick. Then again, maybe it already has. There are more emotions than just glaring you know."

Roxas stuck his tongue out and allowed Sora to pull him to his feet. "Now," Sora began, hooking an arm through Roxas' and leading them out of the school building. "I know this great art shop…"

Zexion stared at their retreating backs, tapping a finger against his mouth. Demyx wrapped his arms around him and frowned. "What do you think Sora meant?" Zexion sighed. "Which part?" Demyx shook his head.

"Good point. So they're coming huh?" Zexion nodded softly. "Do you think we should tell the others? We did promise to inform the others of anything...interesting." Zexion bit his lip a moment before nodding. "We'll wait until we get home though; it'll be easier to send an email out than text that entire conversation."

Demyx nodded. "We better get going; mom'll get worried if we aren't home by five." Zexion shook his head. "I still find that odd. I mean I'm practically buggering her son and she welcomes me with open arms." Demyx grinned.

"Don't say 'buggering' sweetie. We live in America, not Europe, and you should feel pleased. Larxene hasn't liked many of my boyfriends." Zexion muttered something under his breath and glared mutinously at Demyx the entire way home.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: What was I think when I wrote this? I don't have a clue. Not one. But oh well.  
Next chapter will have Demyxs' party and maybe some background on the other characters?  
I'm undecided and have thought to the point my head is about to explode.  
Leave me a review and keep my head from exploding?**


	6. And Don't Call Me Roxie

**This is dedicated to Cory Ander, for kicking me in the ass and also for the positive review. I hope this lived up to your expectations.  
Slight language.**

_Inhale. Exhale. Mutter. Sigh. Repeat._

The brick house was rough against Roxas' back as he feigned casualty and leaned against it just out of the porch's halo of light. He had sought refuge in the chilly night air at least half an hour earlier, trying to get away from the flashy lights and pounding music that his head insisted on throbbing in time with.

Roxas sighed and slid down the wall, bringing the cigarette to his lips once again. Sora would be anything but pleased if he had known Roxas had started up again.

Roxas tensed as the front door opened, the dull music growing momentarily louder before a slam silenced it once more. Roxas stubbed the cigarette out and held his breath before noticing the spiked red hair and releasing the held air.

He would need to go back inside soon, just to make sure Sora was alright. _But he was with Demyx. _The annoying voice inside his head reminded him. He shushed it as the front door opened again. "I thought you quit." Roxas raised an eyebrow as Zexion spoke. "I did. I'm relapsing." Zexion shook his head and sighed. "Just don't let Riku see; we'll never hear the end of it." Axel gave a bark of laughter.

"Ain't that the truth." They were silent and the minutes ticked by. Roxas smothered the urge to sneeze and wondered why whenever you needed to be quiet the need to make noise became intense. It was like just because you needed to be quiet you couldn't-

"Have you seen Roxas around?" Roxas felt his thought process still and then stop. Axel had noticed he was missing? Zexion shook his head. "No. I thought I saw him sneak outside about an hour ago. Have you asked Sora?" Axel snorted.

"I was going to but between Demyx and Riku I couldn't get near the poor kid." Zexion chuckled. "They've taken a liking to him and it didn't help that Roxas told Demyx he trusted him. It's quite annoying at times the way he goes on and on." Axel shook his head. "I can imagine. Roxas is a weird kid ain't he?"

Zexion gave a shrug. "He's just quiet and protective, though you can't blame him. Tell me you don't feel the obscure need to whisk Sora away from the world every time you look at him." Axel shrugged and leaned against the door frame. "He's a cute kid." Zexion opened the door and turned to look at Axel. "Not as cute as Roxie." Axel swung at him and Zexion laughed, darting inside and slamming the door.

Axel shook his head and sighed before vanishing inside. From his place in the shadows, Roxas blinked.

**x-x-x-x-x**



"…and then Demyx showed me this awesome dance and it didn't make any sense but it was fun. And then me and Riku got in a cake fight with Zexion and Demyx but I don't think Zexion meant to get in the middle of it."

Here Sora paused in contemplation and Roxas took in a breath for his brother. Why he couldn't stop talking about the party that had happened three days ago today was beyond him. "Yeah I think it was accidental. Riku threw a piece and Demyx dunked and it hit Zexion instead. Doesn't that sound accidental Roxas?" Roxas managed a smile. "Yeah Sora but it sounds like you had fun."

Sora nodded happily and caught the Chemistry book Roxas threw at him. "I didn't see you though." Roxas ushered Sora out the door and turned to lock it, flicking his hair into his face and covering his eyes. "You now I don't like to be noticed. I was there the whole time." He lied, turning to flash his brother a smile. Sora looked skeptical. "Demyx loved the present we got him. Didn't he say something about drawing you later today?"

Sora perked up. "Yeah he did. I'm not sure what pose still…"

As they walked to school Sora babbled on about the party –_just a dinner my ass_, Roxas thought with a grimace at the memory-, leaving Roxas more or less alone with his thoughts, which was not a good thing. The conversation he had …_overheard_ kept replaying itself.

What the hell had Zexion meant? Did they always discuss them behind their backs? _Why the hell had he called him Roxie?_ Roxas didn't dwell on the fact that the last question seemed more urgent to figure out then the other two.

As they reached the school gates Sora fell silent and Roxas pulled himself from his thoughts. Demyx waved from the door and bounced over to them. "Can you believe I'm legal now? Mom thinks it's wonderful but I don't feel any different!" Roxas tuned out his mindless chatter as Axel and Zexion walked around the corner. Demyx bounced over to them and slung his arms around Zexion, who sighed in irritation and pushed at him half-heartedly while Axel laughed.

Roxas bit his bottom lip as their conversation surfaced once more. _You're going to have to talk to him and you know it. _Damn inner Roxas for making an appearance. _I won't let you stop thinking about it until you do. _Axel turned and glanced at him, locking their eyes. Roxas flushed slightly and tore his gaze away from the puzzled green ones, wondering just how long he had been thinking. _You're talking to him at lunch._

Roxas made a mental note to avoid lunch today.

"Roxie!" Roxas closed his eyes and took a deep breath as that annoying voice started laughing. "The Fates hate me." He muttered as Axel skidded to a stop before him. "Sora told us you were skipping lunch and I was elected to come find you, since, according to Demyx, that isn't healthy."

Roxas sent him his patented 'You-are-going-to-spontaneously-combust-into-flames-inless-you-back-away-now' Glare. Axel didn't bat an eye as he grinned and threw an arm over the pissed blonds' shoulders and led him down the hall. "You've been even more pissy than normal today." Roxas grunted and shrugged out of his 

grasp. "I've been thinking, though I doubt you'd know what that's like." Axel winced and gave a fake sob, throwing his hand over his heart for effect. "Roxie you say such hurtful things!" Roxas snorted.

"You've been hanging with Demyx too much; you're acting like a Drama Queen." Axel laughed. "Roxie has a sense of humor!" Roxas scowled and walked faster, suddenly eager to get to the noisy, crowded lunchroom. "And don't call me Roxie."

The glass doors were in sight when Axel threw out a hand and shoved Roxas into the wall. "What the hell?" Axel crossed his arms, face suddenly serious. "For real Roxas, what's up? You're no fun to fuck with today." Roxas glanced towards the doors, overlooking the four faces that were staring at them and judging the distance. "I can run faster than you." Roxas turned back to him.

"I doubt that." Axel raised an eyebrow and Roxas sighed, suddenly tired of this entire conversation. "Why do you think that Roxie?" Roxas looked at him. "Don't call me Roxie, and I don't see how that's your damn business." Axel stared at him for a moment and nodded. "Your right; it isn't." Roxas nodded and turned away again, resuming his walk before a hand grabbed his forearm. He felt himself being pulled back until he was almost touching Axel, his breath warm against Roxas' neck.

"You don't like me and you don't trust me but that's fine. Because before this month is up I will have earned both of those pleasures. Got it memorized, Roxie?" With that he was released, and Axel walked away just as the bell signaling the end of lunch rang out. Roxas stepped to the side as hoards of student trampled past, his mind spinning. "Rox? Everything ok?" Roxas turned to look at his brother, dismissing the others behind him and smirking.

"Yeah Sora," he muttered, watching the red-head as he disappeared around a corner. "Everything's fine."

**A/N: I am so sorry this took so long. Real life has been chaotic and I've been sick but I won't bore you with details.  
I couldn't figure out how to end this but I hope this was good enough. -nervous-  
Also Kairi and Namine will be minor roles, and also about two to three years younger than the rest of them.  
**  
**But we finally see some AkuRoku beginnings! And I know I said you'd learn about the other characters this chapter, but I lied. Sorry. It was unintentional I swear.  
**


	7. Shaking Hands, Healing Hearts

**A/N: This chapter jumps around a bit.  
The first part is Roxas 3rd Person omnipresent, as the rest of the story has been.  
After that it's Demyx's point of view followed by Axels' and then Roxas 3****rd**** omnipresent again.**

* * *

**x-x-x-x-x**

The next week had Roxas dodging a barrage of questions, much to the others chagrin. After twenty-four hours of a combination of sulking and pouting, he finally admitted to Sora that nothing had happened; he just enjoyed the exasperation as the group tried to come to a conclusion, each more fanatical than the last. It was refreshing albeit odd to find that the three of them, when united for a common cause (such as torturing the rest of the group), worked well together.

Sora's natural innocence combined with Axels' mischief was a recipe for disaster, but when you added Roxas into the mix the result was explosive. They succeeded in running Demyx and even Riku in circles for several days before Zexion intervened and they had to drop the game, much to everyone's relief. And so the days passed, until Christmas break was around the corner.

"The man is crazy I tell you! What kind of teacher gives a group assignment over Christmas Break?" Roxas tuned out Demyx's outraged rant as they left school. He personally agreed that their math teacher was insane but he didn't have to be so loud about it.

Demyx paused in mid-sentence and Roxas glanced up to see him reading a piece of paper. "Yes Sora it _is _great we are a group but no I will not cease my words! He is evil! Roxas! Tell me you agree that this man is a demon from Hell!" Before Roxas could spit out the sarcastic remark that was on his tongue he heard his brother cry out. Roxas turned immediately, eyes taking in two things in one sweep.

One was his brother on the ground, tears brimming his eyes and arm twisted oddly beneath him. The second was the brunet standing slightly off to the side, eyes on the fallen boy and a slight smirk on his face. Roxas saw red.

**x-x-x-x**

_Roxas looked murderous. Sora had told me he had a temper but this was the first time I was actually seeing it and it was terrifying. His face, after the initial burst of anger had passed, was impassively calm as he gazed upon the smirking boy. _

_The boy –later identified as an unimportant freshman- took several seconds before he noticed the stock-still Roxas staring at him. I bit my lip and glanced behind him, mentally counting the number of people who seemed to be not-so-casually standing around. Shit. "Can I help you?" My attention snapped to the boy when he spoke. _

_"Demyx, get Sora and take him to the nurse. I'll be there momentarily." I shivered at his voice but nodded, bending down and lifting the shaking Sora _

_into my arms. "Don't let him." Sora's voice was quiet but resolute. "Roxas," I paused and licked my lips. This shouldn't be that complicated. "You need to come with Sora." He never took his eyes of him. "I'll be in before she sees him." _

_For some reason I didn't doubt him. Nodding I turned and hurried to the school, unnerved at the silence behind me. The nurse's office wasn't far from the main entrance and I sat him gently on the bed-like couch and pulled out my cell. _

"_Axel are you at school still? I need you to go to the front entrance and stop Roxas from killing them. Sora thinks it's a possibility, yes. We're in the nurse's…will you shut up and let me talk? Sora's hurt. I think some freshman- are you on your way yet? _

_Good- thought he was his age since their short and all; decided to prove how bad he was. Sora's arm is all weird and…why aren't you there yet? Hurry up. There's about six or seven that seemed to back the idiot up. Have I mentioned Roxas is pissed? He's Deadly calm…worse than Riku on a bad hair day. Yeah, it's that serious. You better already be running. Bye." _

_Sora tapped my arm and I glanced down at him. "Is Axel gonna stop him?" I nodded wordlessly. He looked immensely relieved and sank back, gripping his arm. "Good; I think Axel can handle him." He nodded to himself and bit at his lip as the nurse walked in. She glanced at me and I nodded shortly before she turned to Sora, kneeling beside him. _

_Sighing I moved to stand closer to the door, torn between running back outside and staying with Sora. When he gave a small gasp of pain I knew it had never been a decision in the first place. _

**x-x-x-x**

"_Stupid fucking teacher and stupid damn kid selling me out like that. Not my fault the chemicals reacted like that…" I mumbled, scrubbing the countertop and trying not to touch the yellow jello-like substance. Still, despite the fact I was being forced to stay after school to clean the science lab, I couldn't regret what I did. I felt myself start to smirk. It was amusing to watch my teacher's face go through at least seven different colors; even more so when he realized my mess now covered over half of the tables. _

_I decided I was done for the day and threw the rag onto his desk, picking up my books and half-skipping out. I was in the middle of a nice daydream about what I would do when I got home when the mellow music of my cell phone broke through. I sang along for a minute before flipping it open, mouth open for my standard greeting that was quickly cut short._

_I admit I was more amused than anything when Demyx called and some of the first words from his mouth were instructions to keep Roxas from killing some freshman. I mean really. Roxie? Sure he was mean and possibly heartless but never actually dangerous. But concern sat in when Demyx told me Sora __was hurt, and then the tiniest bit of worry when calm Demyx was abrupt and serious. Demyx wasn't serious, and he never dismissed my attempts at a joke. I threw my books in my locked and started running. _

_The air was cold as the door swung open and I sprinted outside, and I couldn't help the maniacal grin that broke out at the thought of the fires I would have to start throughout the winter. _

_I rounded the last corner before I would reach the front of the school and stopped, grin slipping off my face."Dear God…" I murmured. I had never been one for prayer but the situation seemed to warrant it. A whimper broke sudden stillness and I was in action again, dashing forward and before I had fully realized it my hand was closing around Roxas' wrist. He turned his head and looked at me, a smile breaking out slowly across his face that chilled me. _

_I prayed I would never be on the receiving end of his anger. _

_He wrenched his hand free with more force than I ever could have given him credit for and turned back, dismissing me with little more than a glance. Slightly unsettled I glanced around, taking in my surroundings for the first time and realizing why it was so quiet. The people I was to watch out for were nowhere to be seen save for one or two curled into a ball. _

_My gaze darted back to the boy held in Roxas' hand, face a mess and it didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon. I lunged forward again, grabbing his arm and pulling so hard I thought I would dislocate it. I twisted it behind him and kicked out, dislodging his hold on the whimpering boy. He crumbled, unmoving, and suddenly I was overcome with anger I hadn't felt before. I whirled Roxas around and we glared at each other. _

_"Don't get involved." I sneered back at him. "I already am." _

_I'm not sure exactly what happened in the next few moments; it went by so quickly that the only memories are of sounds and feelings. His low snarls and my equally low growls. Flesh against flesh and then the taste of dirt as I hit the ground. Pain in my head and his yelp of surprise as I retaliated. The murmured threats and harsh words we hissed at each other as we hit the ground, wrapped around each other. _

_The shouting every time we could find the breath. The pause in fighting as neither of us would relinquish the hold on the other, so we grappled on the ground. Then Zexion was there, struggling to pull us apart as another set of hands tugged at my shirt. I threw them off at the same time Roxas let his grip slip as he turned to snarl something at Zexion. My arms were around him in a moment. _

_His angry howls as he realized his arms were pinned to his body seemed to echo. Then I was murmuring to him. _

_I couldn't tell you what I said. I was on an adrenaline high, my words sounding distant and slurred. I don't think anybody who managed to hear could tell you what was muttered into his unwilling ear that day. But it worked. _

_He went limp in my arms, body shaking from repressing sobs as I slipped to a sitting position and pulled him into my lap. He clutched weakly at my shirt and buried his head into my collar, __shaking. "He got hurt again." I pulled him impossibly closer. "I swore…" _

_I felt tears prick my eyes at his hoarse words. "I swore nobody would touch him again." I buried my face in his hair. "Oh god…" He whimpered. "It wasn't your fault." It took me a moment to realize I had spoken the words; my throat was as raspy as his from the dust and shouting. "It was the first time." _

_Zexion would later tell me we sat there for close to an hour, though it didn't feel like that long, and that Riku and he couldn't hear a word of our soft mumbles. He would tell me we didn't move until Sora was there, and even then it was only enough for him to wrap himself around Roxas as well, his arm in a splint. _

_He would tell me because I couldn't remember anything after those words, so full of pain and self-loathing. Those words that replayed in my mind again and again until I broke. The words that had Demyx and the others, after I told them, in thoughtful silence. '_It was the first time…'

**x-x-x-x-x**

Roxas winced as he waited for the sound of shattered glass that he knew was coming, eyes slipping shut. He could barely hold anything; his hands wouldn't stop shaking. Surprisingly the sound never came and he cracked an eye to see Axels' amused look.

"Don't worry Roxie I got it." The taller man grinned and sat the glass on the counter, motioning Roxas to sit down which he did with a huff. It had been a week since he had finally been coaxed from his room and still he was waiting for the questions he knew were bound to come. _Welcome to the land of the living Roxas. Eggnog? _He almost smiled at the memory.

Only Demyx could pull off such a question, both full of concern and uncaring at the same time. But no questions had ever come, nor had the awkwardness he had been expecting. It seemed as though his slip of the tongue against Axels' chest was being brushed off and forgot about, but he wasn't sure about forgetting just yet. Absently he ran his lips over his bandaged knuckles, eyes unfocused.

_T__hey crashed down again and again, each time harder than the last. The terrified brown eyes turned to cold cerulean slate; the brown hair to gray. Sora's crying in the background before his rushing blood made it impossible to hear. A rough jerk, harsh words, and the colors fading until his world was gray-scale like it was before. The green eyes fading to pale blue and the pain and the laughter and… _

A thunk brought him from his reverie. He jumped, his hand dropping to his side and eyes snapping into focus once more. He caught the flash of worry and _something _before Axels' face was its usual emotions; slightly mischievous and all teeth.

"Tea's finished." He announced brightly, plopping into the chair opposite Roxas and gesturing to the two cups before them. "So Christmas is in two days: what'cha gonna get me?" Roxas rolled his eyes and attempted to bring the warm liquid to his mouth without spilling it. Axel didn't bat an eye as he reached over to his side and lifted it to his mouth. "I'm serious Roxie. I mean I got you something so you should get me something." Roxas moved his head back and Axel sat the drink down, looking pointedly at him as he began to space out again.

"Roxas!" Roxas jerked and looked at him. "Why do you do that?" Axel raised an eyebrow in question, face serious. Roxas considered it a good sign. "Act like it's perfectly natural and just pick it up like that?" Axel rolled his eyes and grinned. "I thought it was important." He shook his head in exasperation. "Because it is natural. Simple. Now back to me, namely my gift."

Roxas scoffed as the person before him rattled off a list of what he could get him, feigning disinterest. As the list wrapped up Axel become more animated. "…and a pony! I don't know where I'd put it but I want one anyway. Oh and the movie Carrie; any of Stephen King's books would also be a great start." He winked at Roxas who was studying his tea. "Got it memorized?"

Roxas sighed and overlooked the question. It wouldn't do if the redhead knew he actually _had _memorized the list.  
"Are you listening to me?" Roxas smirked. "No."

"Bastard."  
"Asshole."  
"Prick."  
"Idiot."  
"Shortie."  
"Cretin."  
"What's that mean?"  
"Exactly my point you inept anserine."  
"Roooxie!"

**x-x-x-x**

As the playful banter in the kitchen picked up once again, Riku swore it was their foreplay, Demyx examined Sora's arm. "Are you sure the bandages aren't too tight?" Sora nodded. "And you're using the lotion every time you take it off to keep it from chapping the skin right?" Sora nodded again, resisting the urge to sigh. "And you have taken your medicine today and you'll take the other one whenever it starts to hurt right? But no more than two every four hours is that right Riku?"

Riku, who had been snickering on the back of the couch beside Zexion, quickly composed himself and nodded. As Demyx turned to get some cover- "Can't have you getting a cold on top of this now can we?"- Sora sent Riku a pleading look. "Demyx I think you're smothering him." Demyx shot a glare at the silver haired boy, who in turned averted his eyes. "I mean he's probably tired, right Sora?"

Sora, who had no clue what was going on, nodded quickly. "I'll put him to bed." Riku grinned and the sulking Demyx and hurried to his 

side. "You know the medicine will probably make him feel sick. Why don't you run to the supermarket and get him some juices and stuff?" Demyx brightened and was out the door before Sora had fully comprehended what was said. In the kitchen there was silence.

"What'd you do Riku?" Axel questioned at the same time Roxas spoke up. "Can we lock him out?" Riku nodded, Roxas grinned, and Zexion sighed.

"I really am tired though." Sora said softly and Riku nodded. "The medicine will have you sleeping more often." He said, wrapping an arm around the smaller one's waist and trying to keep the goofy smile –Sora _so_ directed that comment to him- off his face. "I personally think it's to keep you from having the temptation of moving it but who knows." Sora cracked a smile.

"Do you need me to take him?" Riku half-turned and shook his head. "No I've got him. Do you want me to sit with him until you finish your tea?" Roxas hesitated, measured the tea in his cup, bit his lip, glanced at Sora, and nodded. This time Riku did grin.

He chattered to the sleepy teen as he settled into the bed, admiring the colors and claiming he'd hire Sora to paint his room too, earning a half-smile. As the minutes passed Riku settled himself on the edge of the bed, his ramblings slowly stopping as Sora's eyes fluttered shut. He glanced around the room and absently ran his hands over the cover.

He really did like the color scheme. Maybe if he presented it as a project to Demyx and slyly added that Sora was an amazing painter they'd do his room for free. This thought kept him occupied for several more minutes until his eyes wandered back to the other occupant on the bed. He reached forward hesitantly and moved a piece of hair away from his face, hand resting on the cheek a moment longer than necessary.

Unable to resist, his hand moved from the cheek, down his neck and over the clothed shoulder before slipping down his arm until he reached the brace. A surge of protectiveness washed over him as his fingers skimmed the black splint. "I know you have Roxas." He murmured. "But just know you have me too."

He moved his hand back into his lap and nodded quietly to Roxas when he came in. Roxas took his position and waited until he couldn't hear his footsteps any more before reaching down to gently clasp the uninjured hand.

"Did he say anything interesting?" Sora cracked an eye and smiled. "He said I have him too." Roxas smiled back and nudged him. "Budge over." Sora scooted and Roxas slipped under the cover, wrapping himself around his twin.

He thought about the people still in his kitchen and the fact that the door was unlocked. He thought of concerned Demyx and the angry Riku when he had heard what happened. He thought of Zexion shaking with barely concealed rage as he phoned the Principal and had the boys expelled. He thought of Axel, who hadn't said a word about that day and put up with him no matter how he tried to push him away. Then he let his eyes close and he fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: This was longer than usual but hopefully nobody minds. It kinda ran away from me. D  
I updated kind of early because I got amazingly inspired by absolutely nothing. Also I hope it wasn't confusing to anybody. **

**And what's this? More history is being revealed? The author is **_**actually going somewhere with this story and we're finally getting into the plot? **_**shocked**

**I so think Axel would love the movie Carrie, don't you?  
**


	8. Possible Side Effects

**This chapter is short and kind of a filler. I know that. I apologize. ****You can expect the next chapter to either A) be longer for compensation or B) have a shocking twist/other major event, again for compensation.**

* * *

The sounds of people moving around and the smell of something cooking was the first thing to greet Roxas as he drifted from the Land of Dreams into the World of Reality. He tensed immediately, reaching over to curl around Sora before a loud squeal had him relaxing. A soft chuckle escaped him as Demyx let loose another shriek loud enough to raise the dead.

Sora apparently thought so too, as he groaned loudly and tried to burrow into Roxas' chest. "Why're they here?" He mumbled as Roxas rubbed circles on his back. "I think they're making us breakfast." Sora mumbled something incoherent and nuzzled his brother's collarbone. There was silence a moment before a crash and muffled curses broke the silence once more. "Riku what did you do?" A bang sounded. "Riku! Axel get away…no don't do that! Axel no fire! Zeeeexion!" Sora giggled. "My god they're loud." Roxas commented, releasing his grip as Sora struggled to sit up. "How's the arm?" The younger boy stretched and nodded through a yawn. "It's fine." He mumbled.

"So when are we going to get up? Before they burn the kitchen down I hope?"Roxas shrugged. "It's quiet now. Either they're dead or Zexion has it under control. I think we should wait until they come get us." Sora shrugged in answer and leaned his head against the headboard, tugging on Roxas' hair until it was moved onto his left shoulder and his arms around his waist. Sora raised his left wrist, still in the splint, and propped it on his hip before his other hand came to play with the blond hair that resided under his chin.

They sat like that, in tranquil solitude, as noises continued to come from the kitchen. At some point Roxas had drifted off once more, leaving Sora in thoughtless thought(1) until the door creaked hesitantly open. Sora glanced over and nodded to figure in the door. "Is he asleep?" Sora nodded. "Demyx told me to come get you two. Breakfast is ready."

Sora furrowed his brow and glanced down at the sleeping Roxas before shrugging. "I'll tell them you'll both be in momentarily." Another nod on Sora's part and Zexion disappeared from view, shutting the door with a muted click. Sora debated getting up and eating to staying in the warmth, cuddled to Roxas. After a moment, and a reminder from his stomach that food would be good _now please_, Sora shook the sleeping boy awake. "Breakfast." Roxas blinked blearily at him and Sora suppressed a smile.

"You know the thing before lunch that has all sorts of food you like to eat, just not at an 'ungodly hour'?" Roxas scowled at him, though the effect was lessened at his disheveled appearance. Sora threw the cover off of them and rolled off the bed, throwing the curtains 

open and ignoring Roxas' hiss as the daylight poured through. "Come on; I'm hungry." Roxas pulled the cover over his head. "Roxie?" A groan answered him. "Sora, don't start with that voice so early in the morning." Sora grinned. Victory was in his grasp! "Roxie," he needled "I couldn't eat much last night because my arm was hurting. I'm hungry and I need to take my medicine."

Sora didn't think he had seen his brother get out of bed so quickly. "You haven't taken your meds? Sora!" And with that he was pushed out the door and led to the kitchen.

**x-x-x-x-x**

"So did you like it?" Roxas rolled his eyes at the pointless, and repetitive, question. "No." Demyx whined softly before getting a glimpse of his face. "Roxas that isn't funny! You had me worried!" Roxas managed to withhold his smirk at Demyx sulked across the table from him, opting instead to take another bite of his French toast. "Roxas is mean. Zexion are you listening to me?" Zexion smirked from behind his hand. "No." Demyx threw his hands up. "Honestly! Riku can you believe them?"

Riku glanced up from where his head had been bowed with Axels' and blinked innocently. "I'm sorry Demyx what did you say?" Axel sniggered as Demyx huffed and stomped out of the room, plopping on the couch. "That isn't really effective Demy; you're still barely ten feet from us." Demyx huffed again and Axel cackled before the table fell into a comfortable silence, broken only as forks scraped plates and cups were sat back on the wood. "So who almost burned down the kitchen this morning?"

As the table burst to life again, Roxas almost wished he hadn't asked.

"It was Riku! He burned the eggs and then dropped all the oranges and a plate!" Axel said, waving his fork around for emphasis. Riku glared. "At least I didn't forget that I was holding a knife and almost stabbed Zexion! And then somebody decided to see how high they could make the gas on the stove go, and the curtains had to be thrown out the window!" Sora and Roxas turned to look at the window. "I was wondering why it looked different." Sora murmured to a distracted Roxas. "Well how was I supposed to know it was flammable?"

Riku scoffed. "Because Demyx told you it was?" Axel snorted and took a gulp of his orange juice. "Yeah and we all know what a genius Demyx is." Demyx jumped up from the couch. "Hey!" Roxas watched with something akin to morbid fascination as the three began a spirited argument. "It's like a train wreck…" He murmured, hardly aware of Zexion and Sora nodding beside him.

"I can't look away." Zexion coughed slightly. "While they're arguing I need to run to the bookstore and pick up some things. Do you two care to come?" Roxas tore his eyes away from the dramatic scene before him to glance at his brother, who nodded. "Yeah, just give us five." Zexion 

nodded in understanding as Roxas struggled to pull his brother –"Zexion, Riku just hit me!"- from the kitchen.

**x-x-x-x-x**

"I never would have thought Sora liked Japanese comics." Roxas glanced up from his, _Possible Side Effects, _and shrugged. "We're both fairly addicted to them." Zexion nodded and they fell silent once more before Roxas spoke up. "Riku told Sora you live with Demyx." Zexion nodded again. "Yeah I do." He hesitated, debating whether to or not to elaborate, before deciding this was a chance in a lifetime. "My dad left not long after I was born. Both my parents were fairly young when they had me anyway."

Roxas nodded and absently sat his book to the side. Zexion took it as a good sign and, despite the fact he hated discussing himself, continued. "I met Demyx when I was around seven, and by the time I was ten my mom's health was deteriorating rather rapidly. Larxene, his mother, took me in after she died." Roxas nodded slowly. "But isn't it awkward that you consider her a mom and you're dating her son?" Zexion choked on the coffee he had mistakenly took a sip of and Roxas waited patiently until he could breathe again. "It's that obvious?"

He raised an amused eyebrow at the question. "I didn't think you got flustered." Roxas commented before continuing on. "But it wasn't until Sora pointed it out. He's much more observant about things than I am." Zexion nodded and they lapsed into silence that was broken by Sora bounding up and depositing a number of books into his brothers' lap with a grin.

"You're joking." Sora shook his head. "We aren't getting all this." He pouted. Roxas grumbled and dumped them into the near-empty basket by his feet. Sora grinned, gave him a fleeting hug, and bounded back off. Roxas didn't return to his book and instead gazed at Zexion in silence. "Were you close?" The question almost startled him.

"What? Oh, no my mom and me weren't really. I think she resented me for taking away her freedom and her teenager years." Roxas nodded in understanding. "Yeah, me and my mom didn't really get along either. She always preferred Sora over…" He trailed off for a moment before shaking his head. "But me and my brother was always pretty close. I always looked up to him."

Zexion frowned slightly. "You looked up to Sora?" Roxas, who had by now returned to his book, didn't look up. "No, I looked up to my older brother."

**x-x-x-x-x**

"Older brother? I thought it was just him and Sora?" Zexion hummed from his position behind Demyx. "Though they never gave us a reason to think they were only children. I wonder where he is now? How'd he look when he was talking about him?" Zexion sighed and regretted bringing it up. "It was only 

one sentence and then you lot came in before I could drag the conversation out, but it seemed like they were on good terms." Demyx huffed and tried to squirm further into Zexion who, in turn, tried not to move at all. "Demyx ease up on him; he did well. Now we know he and his mom weren't on good terms and it almost sounds like he was jealous of Sora.

Maybe that's why he…Axel shut the hell up I'm trying to sound smart. Anyway, maybe that's why he's so protective of him now: guilt." Before they could say anything an irritated huff came from the phone. "We have to go because Axels' being a FUCKING BASTARD and won't shut up. We'll talk tomorrow at the Twins house okay?" Without another word a click was heard and a moment later, a dial tone. Demyx reached down and turned it off before tossing it onto the floor. "You did do good." Zexion grunted.

"Did Roxas ever agree to have Christmas at their house?" Another grunt and Demyx sighed. "I guess we'll just show up and try not to die eh?" Before he could answer –not that he was going to anyway, Demyx thought- the door swung open.

"Hi mom!" Demyx chirped. Larxene smirked and leaned against the doorframe. "When am I going to meet the mysterious twins that have stolen my other boy's hearts?" Zexion groaned. "They haven't stolen anything." Demyx sniggered. "That they know of. As soon as it's possible." His mother nodded through a yawn. "Alright then. You two are going away for tomorrow, right?" Demyx winced. "Not all day…" Larxene sighed in irritation. "Can't you drag it out or something? I want a day of silence."

They both snorted at her response. "I'll keep him out all day Mom." Larxene smiled over at Zexion. "That's why you're my favorite." Ignoring Demyx outraged whine she turned to leave. "Just be sure to come home within the week so we can celebrate hmm? Don't keep him up all night." The door was shut and Demyx pouted and turned to stuff his face Zexions' neck.

"I can't believe you're her favorite. You aren't evenr eally her son! And what did she mean 'don't keep him awake all night'?" Demyx prattled on, though Zexion didn't pay attention past the first sentence. After a few moments of uninterrupted chatter he paused and looked up. "Zexion?" He squeaked as he was thrown backward before suppressing a grin at the other boy's look. "You talk too much." Zexion murmured before sealing his lips over the other boy's.

Through the kiss, Demyx smirked. _Works every time. _

**A/N: (1) Thoughtless Thought: The time when you are half-asleep and letting your thoughts go where they will; the moment between conscious thought and dream-like haze**.


	9. Skeletons in the Closet

**A/N: More language than normal in this chapter (Roxas mainly) and it's longer like I promised it would be (Almost triple the length. Go me!).**

Yes it took longer to write. Writer's block decided to strike and made itself comfy (Read, I wanted several major things but didn't know how to type them). Hopefully I pulled it off.

Review? Even if it's just 'OMG I LUV IT!!11ONE'

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" Roxas stared at the boys in his doorway blankly. "It's seven in the morning." Demyx grinned and brushed past him, ignoring the glare of death that was currently being thrown his way.

"We figured you wouldn't decorate, therefore we needed to come earlier to get in the festive spirit. And look how right we were!" Demyx glanced back at the crowd still huddled around the door. "He isn't going to bite." Roxas raised an eyebrow. "I'm not?" Demyx grinned and dumped the box he had been carrying on the couch.

"Well you might. Either way, it's time to start being men! Come into the enemy's territory! Let us go where no man has gone before!" Zexion gave a small groan and shoved them inside, kicking the door closed behind him. "When he says 'we', what he means is 'he'." Zexion shook his head ruefully. "You can go back to bed Roxas." He muttered. "I have a feeling we're going to be busy for a while."

Roxas gave an amused snort but nodded and headed back down the hall, pausing to send a mock sympathetic glance back at the pleading eyes of Axel. Demyx grinned happily. "Wonderful. Now then, Axel…"

**x-x-x-x**

"Demyx." Roxas said in explanation as Sora glanced up from the bed with a raised eyebrow. The other winced and buried his head back into the pillow, causing Roxas to laugh as he jumped back onto the bed. "They decided since we weren't going to decorate they needed to come by extra early. I'm worried about what all they have in the boxes." Sora snorted and pulled Roxas' arm until they were snuggled against each other. "Which means it's going to be a long day." Roxas hummed in agreement.

"At least we got them the presents like I said we should." Roxas mumbled and pushed his face in between Sora's shoulder blades.

"Your nose is cold."  
Silence.  
"Roxas?"  
"Sora shut up and go back to sleep."  
"I thought you were a morning person."  
"Not when we stayed up until four."

Sora pouted slightly. "We had fun." Roxas groaned and flung himself to the side, staring at the ceiling with an expression of distaste. "I'm not going to get any sleep am I?" Sora grinned and rolled over, facing his exasperated twin.

"No. But don't worry; I'm sure you can take a nap while the rest of us are having fun. Or maybe Axel will-" Roxas slapped his arm lightly. "Don't finish that sentence." Sora giggled. 

"I was going to say get you drunk. Roxas, what were _you _thinking of exactly?" Roxas felt his face heat and glanced at the opposite wall, blatantly ignoring his brother's choked laughter. "That's even worse. Then the pervert would…do perverted things." Sora laughed harder. "Very eloquent Roxas." Roxas turned to his brother.

"Eloquent? Where's the dictionary Sora?" Sora stuck out his tongue before grinning again. "I wouldn't let him do anything. Besides, you can't rape the wiling." Sora stiffened as Roxas fell silent. After a moment a scowl graced his features and he glared.

"I would _not _be willing." Sora scoffed. "Of course not." With a huff he rolled over until they were pressed back-to-back. "Sora-"  
"Roxas shut up and go to sleep."  
"That's my line."

**x-x-x-x**

"No way." Demyx pouted. "Come on Riku! This is the perfect chance!" Riku scoffed. "To what, get killed? You want to go and die, be my guest. But I don't have a suicide wish." Demyx huffed and crossed his arms. "They wouldn't kill us. Axel, you'll do it, right?"

Axel coughed into his hand and looked at the floor. Demyx dropped his arms and stared between the two. "You're both scared." Said boys nodded. "Demyx if you want to go wake them up then go on. You might live to tell the tale; they both like you at least."

Zexion paused and looked thoughtful. "Or is it you're too frightened to go alone?" Demyx suddenly looked shifty. "I'm not _scared _per se; more like wary." Zexion gave something resembling a snort. "Just go."

"You want me to die don't you?" Riku muffled a snicker as Zexion glanced upward for a moment. "Of course I don't. But you worked really hard on this and I don't want them to miss it." He turned to give Demyx a rare, blinding smile and Demyx melted. With a chirped 'Okay!' he bounced down the hall. He opened the door slowly and peeked in.

When there wasn't any sound or movement he slipped inside, letting the door close softly behind him. "They really are too cute," he murmured, walking beside the bed and looking at the sleeping boys. "Though they sleep far too much." He stood for a few more minutes and then grinned. "The other _are _expecting me to wake them up." With a battle cry he launched himself onto the bed.

**x-x-x-x**

_Meanwhile…_

"You're whipped." Zexion glanced at the snickering Axel.  
"Roxas likes Demyx you know." He said casually. "So?" Zexion shrugged.  
"Demyx trusts me, Roxas trusts Demyx, therefore Roxas trusts me. Do you seriously want to piss me off and ruin any chance you may have?" Axel fell silent as Riku sent an appraising gaze to Zexion. "You're a cruel, cruel man." Zexion smirked and moved to the sink.

"I try." He said, rinsing his hands off before turning and sliding into a chair. "Do you really think they'll like it?" Zexion craned his head to look into the living room, a calculating expression on his face. "It could be worse."

Riku sighed and tipped his chair back. "Is that your way of saying Demyx kept it simple so they will or that it's bad?" He turned his head in the direction Zexion was facing and they surveyed the decorated room critically. "Not too colorful," Riku murmured to himself. "Just enough to remind them it is in fact Christmas."

Zexion hummed in agreement. "Sora will like it and Roxas won't complain. Maybe." Riku snorted and let his head loll back. "Ten bucks says he finds something to bitch about." Zexion smirked. "No." Riku gave a mock pout and turned to Axel. "What about you?" The unusually quiet boy raised an eyebrow. "I can talk without fear?" Zexion raised his own brow. "If you really want to risk it, go ahead." Riku sighed and opened his mouth to comment when a scream split the air. The boys glanced up. "Demyx." They said in unison.

No sooner had the words left their mouth than a shriek had them all toppling chairs and running into the hallway, shoving one another into walls and finally squeezing into the doorway before freezing. Zexion found his voice first. "Demyx what the hell did you do?"

Demyx crawled over to him and clung, eyes wide and hands trembling. "I don't have a clue."

**x-x-x-x-x**

Sora had been sleeping peacefully. Roxas knew this because his dreams mirrored his brothers. And he was having a very nice dream. So nice, in fact, that neither of them heard the door creak open or the soft, murmuring voice.

They did, however, hear the scream and feel the bed dip quite suddenly as they were jolted awake, fragments of dreams clinging; merging into reality and turning dark.

_No more…no more…  
_Please take me instead_.  
How could you do this to us?  
_Don't hurt him anymore.  
_I trusted you.  
_I'll never make that mistake again.  
_Sora I'm so sorry.  
_I'll never be able to make this up to you_.  
Sora I'll get us out.  
_Please don't separate us.  
_Don't touch him! Sora…Sora…_

"Sora…" He was jerked from the last remains of his dreams (memories really but he can't think of that now) with the name on his lips and his screams resonating in his ears. Some part of him heard the voices, know they weren't in immediate danger and caught sight of his twin within seconds.

Pale face, pupils so dilated you couldn't see the blue, and hands clamped firmly around himself. "Sora!"

'_All your fault.' The voice murmured. He heard it even when its owner wasn't there. 'You'll never save him.'_



He shook the voices off and make a grand effort to leap across the bed to the banshee formerly known as Sora, only to fall short as his legs were impossibly twisted in the cover. He clawed at it frantically and succeeded in ripping it off.

He was already across the bed before it landed. "Sora." He was torn between attempting to calm and attempting to protect; it didn't matter if the danger was here and now or not. Sora solved that for him as he jerked from Roxas' touch, mouth snapping closed as he tried to fling himself off the bed. Roxas leapt after and after a scuffle pinned him on the bed. As soon as his arms were down the fight left and he whimpered.

Roxas gathered the shaking mass and clung to it, forcing their eyes to meet. "I'm here Sora. Roxas." He was vaguely aware he was shaking as bad as the other boy when Sora gave a small cry and burrowed into his chest, hands clenching at everything they could reach.

"Nobody else. Just me." He felt high; the adrenaline was still rushing through his veins.

"Roxas." The name, more moaned than anything, came from his chest and he took a deep breath. "Yeah Sora; I'm here and nobody else." He glanced around and his eyes locked on the figures still standing, slightly shell-shocked, by the door.

Roxas felt the insane urge to laugh bubble up inside him and spill out. It was slightly hysterical and only really so he could keep from crying but he couldn't stop it. Sora was still shaking but Roxas heard the soft giggles echo his own. He buried his face in the brown hair and stifled the maniacal sound as best he could. "Demyx, Zexion, and Axel are here too."

He murmured slightly. "And Riku." Sora nodded but didn't lift his head. "I thought…" Roxas just nodded and tightened his grip as he trailed off and shuddered. "I know; so did I." He rubbed his thumb up and down in an attempted soothing motion.

"How are they?" Roxas glanced back at the doorway. "Speechless. Shocked. Worried. Any of those work." Sora nodded again. "They're going to ask questions." A nod answered him. "Yeah I know…" Roxas murmured in reply.

He locked eyes with Zexion who, after a moment, nodded briefly and herded the others into the kitchen once more. "Are they leaving?" Roxas hesitated a moment, and then shook his head. "No."

Sora finally glanced up and gave a semblance of a smile. "Good. Christmas." Roxas hummed in agreement. "It will still be there in a few minutes." Sora nodded and released his death grip, moving his arms until his hands rested on Roxas'.

"You're shaking." Roxas glanced down. "So are you." Neither of them said anything more as they waited for their heartbeats to slow.

**x-x-x-x**

"Good afternoon." Zexion murmured as the twins finally made their way into the room. Riku glanced up and grinned; Zexion was proud to note it only looked half-forced. His 'talk' worked. Or maybe it was the 

eggnog. Either way, so long as the result was the same. "The decoration are..nice." Roxas murmured, and Axel took this as his cue. "Yeah we were afraid it would be too colorful." Roxas glanced down at Sora, currently molded into his side, and then back at the room. "No. The blues accent the…lack of color and the red is really…it really brings life. Or something."

Axel beamed at him as Riku downed another gulp of the drink before him. "Thank you. The red was entirely my idea! I felt like the only vivid thing in this apartment. Besides your obviously-bleached hair of course." Roxas scowled and was about to reply when Zexion smoothly cut in. "Eggnog? Hot chocolate? Coffee?" Roxas looked surprised and mildly put out.

"Hot chocolate would be nice." He said, leaning against the counter as Zexion bustled. "You're acting like a mother hen." Axel said with a grin as Riku smirked. "Or the perfect house guest." Zexion scowled and handed the drink to Sora. "Or I have manners." Roxas glanced down; pleased to see the liquid was a good inch from the top of the cup. It didn't spill as Soras' hands continued to tremble.

"That's a foreign concept to them Zexion; you're wasting breath." As identical cries of outrage reached his ears, Roxas took another look around the rooms. "Where's Demyx?" Immediately the atmosphere tensed.

"I think he went outside for a cigarette." Roxas raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know he smokes." Zexion gave a minute shrug. "He doesn't." Roxas heard the _under normal circumstances _he left off the sentence. "We were going to go with him, one of us at least, but he insisted we stay here. He told us to wait for him before we ate or opened gifts though so that sounds promising."

Roxas shifted his attention back to the speaking Axel. "He should be back in soon." They settled into a slightly awkward silence before Riku sighed loudly. "I really hope he hurries so we can eat. Zexion here prepared, like, seven different dishes and they all look amazing. But every time I tried to taste I got in trouble." Axel sniggered. "Like, seven different dishes? No way!" The air now more amused Riku huffed.

"What's wrong with that?" Axel put on an innocent face.

"Nothing at all! It's just so…" He paused, searching for the word before grinning evilly. "It's gay." Sora choked on the sip he had just taken and Roxas took the mug from him, patting his back soothingly.

"It is not gay! Besides, you're gayer than I could ever be." Axel appeared affronted. "How so pretty boy?" Riku bristled; the effect ruined by the smile playing across his lips, and dramatically flung his hair back with a sniff.

"You're hair is flaming red. You wear _only _leather. You are constantly 'touching up' your make-up and obsess over your 'girlish figure'." Zexion laughed, slumping against the back of the couch as Axel narrowed his eyes. "Have you even seen the clothes you wear? And your hair! It's so silky and shiny and you're _always _either flipping it over your shoulder or fixing it in a mirror. And I don't obsess; it's to look good in the leather."

Riku waved a hand dismissively. "It doesn't even look that good on you."

Axel gasped and flung himself from the chair, pointing dramatically at Riku. "Take it back." Riku smirked and stood. "Never." Axel leaned over the table. "Take it back or I'll swap your papou shampoo for mango." He gaped and sank back into the chair.

"You wouldn't." Axel smirked and crossed his arms. "I would." Roxas looked amused. They were utterly childish but he was thankful –when did that happen? - that they were keeping the air light like that. "Besides, I look great in leather." Riku bit his tongue. "I do! Right Roxas?" He was jerked from his thoughts (thankful? When?) at the question.

"What?" Axel sighed. "I said I looked great in leather, don't I?" Roxas hummed in agreement as the three looked at him; Axel looked smugly over at an incredulous Riku and then over at the exasperated but smiling Zexion and grinned broadly. "I knew it. I looked amazing in eve-" He was silenced by the click of the front door closing. Roxas and Sora turned as Demyx came in.

Everybody fell silent before Roxas cleared his throat awkwardly. "Nice decorations." Riku smirked. "You should have heard him trying to get through that the first time." Demyx let out a startled laugh while Roxas glared, and just like that they were on again for the holidays.

**x-x-x-x**

"What is it?" Demyx looked blankly at him. "What do you mean what is it?" Roxas bit his lip, turning the…_thing _over in his hands. "It's a box?" The blank look didn't go away. "You don't know what it is." Roxas felt himself flush, though from anger or embarrassment he wasn't sure. "Demyx give the kid a break." Axel said from his left.

"Not everyone is as artsy as you are." Demyx sniffed from his position in the floor. "It isn't artsy; not like what I got for Sora and the rest of you. Besides, everyone knows what that is." Axel glanced sideways at the fuming Roxas. "Not everyone." He muttered, leaning over until he and Roxas could whisper. "Sora mentioned to Demyx how you have nightmares. I'm sketchy on details but something about how you use to write and Demyx thought it would be good to have like a journal or something; I'm not sure. Look."

He took the box from Roxas' hands and slipped a finger underneath. After a moment the side popped out and Axel pulled it out completely. "This is something called the Traveler's Chest **(1).**It's basically everything a writer needs -basic stuff only of course- that's easy to carry. It has ink and a notebook; nibs and a stylus and all in this lovely carrying case." Roxas sniggered.

"You sound like a sales person. And how do you know anyway?" He was not expecting Axel to turn pink and mutter something before pushing the box back in Roxas' hands. "Right then; it's my turn!" Axel slipped off the couch as Roxas pushed a gift box into Sora's hands, smiling lightly and ignoring the odd acting Axel.



"I claim full responsibility for what's in this box." Sora smiled before ripping into the paper and then stopping. Roxas leaned over and took the box from his hands. "This is a journal and beneath it is a calligraphy set. The journal has special paper so-" His breath whooshed out as Sora attacked him and sent them both sprawling back onto the couch, Roxas landing more or less on Axel.

He glanced up at the bemused expression and took a strangled breath. "Yes I'm amazing. Thank you. Get off." Sora complied, grinning. "Thank you." He said, taking the box from Roxas' hands and running his hands over it. "Roxas stole my idea!" Demyx whined, his bemoaning cut short by Rikus' foot. "Shut up and open this."

He muttered, tossing the gift over to him. Demyx grinned and shut his mouth.

The hours passed and while Roxas wouldn't claim they went quickly, he was surprised at how the night seemed to creep up on him. It was almost a comfortable feeling, sitting in the middle of wrapping paper and listening to the bickering that never seemed to cease. It was all so familiar and at the same time he had never experienced anything like it.  


* * *

"_Roxas! Sora! If you two don't get down here this instant I'm going to open your gifts!" Sora shot up in bed and Roxas was halfway down the stairs before he registered what was going on. "Don't you touch our gifts Cloud!" Sora was shouting as Roxas groaned and tried not to fall face first. "Sora, too early…" he began but was cut off as they reached the bottom and he was shoved into the nearest armchair, Sora soon sprawling across his lap. _

_"It's too early." Sora made a dismissive gesture. "Oh hush Roxas. Cloud! Gifts! Now! I want to know what Santa brought me." Cloud groaned and shook his head. "Sora you're fifteen. Santa isn't real. Grow up." Sora turned his watery eyes to Roxas, who scowled at Cloud before smiling at his brother. "Santa's real is you believe in him Sora. After all, if only one person believes in one thing it exists, right?" _

_Sora squealed happily and stuck his tongue out at the amused adult in the room. "Roxas you baby him too much." Sora flapped a hand. "Nonsense! Presents!" Cloud sighed again. "Go eat breakfast and let's wait for the guys."_

_Roxas' brow furrowed. "Kadaj is coming?" He asked, disdain slipping into the name. Cloud frowned. "Yes. He's my boyfriend after all." Roxas scowled as Sora, sensing danger, edged from the living room into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. "I know you don't like him but just try? Please?"_

_ Roxas huffed. "Tell me those freaks aren't coming with him." Clouds' brow furrowed in confusion and then he sighed. "Yes, Loz and Yazoo will probably come as well. Just try to be nice?" _

_Roxas grumbled something under his breath and Cloud grinned broadly, walking into the kitchen and pausing to ruffle his hair. "That's my bro; bitch and angst." Roxas felt his lips quirk as he finished going into the kitchen. He could handle one day __with them, couldn't he? For Cloud? _

_Even if he thought they were a bad influence and he didn't like the way they looked at Sora…it was only a day. _

* * *

"Roxas?" He felt himself snap back to reality as Sora's voice. He blinked slowly. "Yes?" Sora shook his head slightly and his eyes darted to the side. "We've been trying to get your attention for ten minutes Blondie." Axel said with a grin. Roxas scowled.

"Zoned out. Sorry." Sora blinked at him and Axel shrugged. "Anyway, we ran out of cocoa and marshmallows and other sugar-coma inducing snacks. Riku was going to run and get some more and wanted to know is Sora could come." Roxas froze. '_No way. It's not happening. I don't think so. No no no no_.' He glanced at Sora and cursed himself when he realized he seemed, despite the scare that morning, almost at ease at the thought of going.

"It's just down the street." Riku said softly and Roxas forced a 'whatever' face on. "If he wants to go he's welcomed to it." He murmured. He wasn't his keeper or anything, right? And he certainly didn't baby him. Sora poked his side and leaned closer. "You're talking aloud. You don't baby me. Tell me you want me to stay." Roxas shook his head and motioned for him to go.

He shot a venomous glance at Riku that promised slow death if anything happened to Sora and waved them off; casting his eyes back to the floor and missing the triumphant looks the remaining boys shot each other. He heard the door open, Riku's goodbye, and it shut again.

Demyx coughed and he looked up to see serious faces, staring at him intently.

Well shit. This didn't look good. He glanced back down and noticed he was clutching his hands together tight enough to turn his knuckles white. He relaxed them and ignored the blood as it slowly seeped onto his palm. Another cough had him once again glancing up. "We want to know as much as you're willing to tell us."

Demyx said, and Roxas suddenly realized he wasn't getting out of this. And he didn't have Sora. He was played and quite brilliantly too. He felt a moment of pride at the plan they had concocted before realization crashed down.

He wasn't getting out of this. He was going to have to say something. He _didn't have Sora. _

Dammit.

**x-x-x-x**

The weather was nice as they stepped out of the apartment complex and turned left, Riku hovering protectively at his elbow and glaring at whoever came 'too close'. As in anywhere on the street. Sora 

couldn't help but snort, causing Riku to cease wishing Death by Glare on a man across the street and glance at him. "What?" Sora motioned wildly and then sighed. "Silver Roxas." He said. Riku seemed confused before he started laughing.

"Yeah I suppose I am acting like him aren't I?" Sora nodded but smiled. The store's lights shone up ahead and they walked in silence, snow crunching underfoot and more fluttering from the sky. Sora glanced up for a moment, letting the flakes hit his face before turning back to the sidewalk and giving a slight shiver.

"Are you warm enough?" Riku asked suddenly. "It's kind of cold and you don't have gloves or a scarf. Why don't you have those anyway? That's a good way to get sick you know. And this winter is supposed to last longer and be colder. Like a blizzard is scheduled to start sometime tomorrow or something. Where was I? Right, gloves. Here, take my scarf."

Sora looked amused as he rambled but took the offered scarf anyway and wrapped it around his neck with a smile and quirk of his eyebrow. "Welcome." Riku mumbled back, finding the snowflakes sticking to the ground fascinating.

They stepped in the store, Riku holding the door open for him, and Sora was hit with a blast of warm air. He was both relieved and disappointed. The coolness had felt nice, though Riku seemed to be chilled if the way he flushed was any indicator. Then again, he also wasn't looking in Sora's direction. Sora wasn't sure what he thought about this.

"Riku!" The lady behind the counter called. Riku raised a hand and started over, making sure Sora was following. "Hello Ms. Andrews." He answered, leaning over the counter to pull her into a hug. "Are you keeping warm in here? No more trouble from those people is there?" Ms. Andrews rolled her eyes and swatted his arm.

"Honestly I'm an old woman Riku. I'm fine and no they haven't been back." Riku smiled and nodded. "We're having Christmas at his house this year but we ran out of sugar." They both laughed and Sora had the feeling this was a normal occurrence. "Riku before you go could you get the firewood from the storage closet? That idiot of a helper put it in the top shelf."

Riku scoffed and nodded. He turned to Sora and Ms. Andrews butted in. "Oh the dear will be fine here with me." Riku hesitated. "He doesn't talk." The woman beamed. "Wonderful. I can talk with no interruptions." Sora shrugged slightly and Riku nodded. "I'll hurry." He muttered, slipping down the aisle and out of view. Ms. Andrews smiled at Sora.

"Riku and Axel use to live around the corner." She said, leaning against the counter. "They roomed together until they could get their own places the dears. Not that it mattered really; now they live next door to one another and their apartments are connected!"

She laughed and Sora grinned in response. "They're good friends those two; good people as well. I had trouble with some neighborhood boys recently and Riku took care of them for me. Such a sweet boy." She paused and then sighed. "A lot sweeter than you would think, all things considering." Her voice dropped to a whisper and Sora found himself leaning in.

"His mother died when he was young the sweetheart. I never did like her husband; she could have done much better than somebody like him. But she loved him and they did have Riku. Only good thing that man did in his life I'll have you know. Nobody really was upset when he went missing; good riddance to bad rubbish we said. Though Riku we –the neighborhood you know; we're close here- were worried about for a while. He hung out with that bad crowd, the same ones I mentioned harassed me actually, and that Zexion kid. But they both straightened out in the end. Are you his boyfriend?"

Sora was saved from answering by Riku's arrival. He took one glance at them and sighed. "You're gossiping." She seemed affronted. "I am not! Is he your boyfriend?" Riku scoffed and tossed some bags onto the counter. "I think that's all we need innless you want something Sora?" Sora shook his head and Riku nodded. "That's all."

She ran up their purchases and shooed them out. "Go on and get home; the weather's turning bad. And do bring him back to visit! You come too. And the rest of my boys. I miss you all." Riku nodded and smacked her cheek, arms full with the bags, and they left the store. Sora wondered if what she said was true. He had a feeling it was.

"Zexion?" He asked. Riku turned to glance at him. "What about him?" Sora really wished he had brought his new notebook. Or Roxas. Roxas would also do nicely. "That Zexion kid." He mimicked and Riku sighed. "So she did tell you that. Meddlesome old woman…" He muttered.

"When my dad left I was in a foster home with people named Xemnas and Saix. There were other kids there and I met Zexion. He had been there a while and already in the bad crowd. I was closer to him than any others there. We were friends for the most part. Then one day he introduced me to Fuu and Seifer and I got pulled in. Into the fast life; the gangs and the excitement and the numbness that was only a pill or shot away. We both got out though."

He fell silent, much to Sora's chagrin. "How?" Riku glanced up. "Oh. Hum, he met Demyx and then Larxene; Demyx's mom kind of adopted him, adopted us all really. I was drug along and met Axel and then they started dating and we've just kind of stuck together since. It's been about four years by now, though it took them a year to get us out of that; Larxene had a hissy fit when she found out the shit we'd been up to." He laughed, and Sora swore it was bitter.

"I'll tell you the rest later, if you want. But anything about Zexion you have to ask him. Ask me about Axel and I'll give you his life story; Demyx I'll tell you a bit but Zexion." He shook his head. "You're on your own there. Can you get the door?" Sora nodded and pulled it over before darting to the elevator and pushing the button. "Thanks." Riku smiled. "I think that's the most you've said to me." Sora gave a small, startled laugh as they entered the elevator and he pushed the number six.

The elevator didn't move for a moment, and then started with a jerk, causing Riku to lose his grip on the bags. Sora darted forward, trying to catch them, as another jerk shook the box and he stumbled instead. Riku reached out automatically, his back hitting the side with a startled gasp and hands reaching out to steady Sora who was pressed against him.

Sora froze and Riku jerked his hands back, apology tumbling out only to be interrupted. "Thanks," Sora muttered. "What?" The smaller boy glanced up and flashed another smile. "Thanks." Riku's mouth went dry and he managed a mumbled _something _he hoped Sora took as a welcome.

His hands were against the wall, by his side while Sora's were on either side of his shoulders and still leaning on him. Not that he minded. Sora was still looking at him and Riku honestly didn't think he could look away for anything in the world.

Until the doors clanged open and Sora pushed away, bending to gather the scattered bags, cheeks pink. Riku had a feeling his were the same color as he gathered the falling objects and scooped them back. Roxas would kill him.

**x-x-x-x**

"I don't think so." Anger was good. He could just pretend to be pissed and not nervous and they would cower and he would win. For better measure he sent them a glare. None of them blinked and he suddenly felt like cursing. '_Immune to the Death Glare? Fuck.' _"Roxas I need to know what I did to Sora so I don't do it again. He looked scared and…I don't like being the cause of that."

Oh dear Lord he was playing the guilt trip, Roxas thought. Wonderful. "And we don't want something like that to happen to you either." Axel added softly. "Sora told us you have nightmares and then you zoned out a few minutes ago and I don't think you were reliving your wonderful childhood."

Roxas almost snorted at Zexions' words. Almost. But he was being angry and angry people didn't snort. "It's none of your damn business."

"You're our friend. It's our business."  
"Yeah but it won't last."  
"Why the hell not?"  
"Because good things don't last in my life!"

Well. That wasn't supposed to come out the way it did. It wasn't supposed to come out period. Shit. They were silent now at least. "What were you remembering when you zoned out?" Interrogation much? But this he could handle. Truth without incrimination. Good. "Our fifteenth Christmas." Demyx smiled. "Tell us about it." Roxas shrugged. "Sora drug me out of bed at a god-awful hour like he always does and then Cloud teased him about Santa Claus. Then we were going to open gifts but…but breakfast. We wanted breakfast. So Sora made it." Zexion nodded. "Cloud is your older brother?" Roxas' eyes narrowed of their own accord. "Yes."

He failed to realize how forced the word sounded. "What was he like?" Roxas stiffened. "Why the hell should I tell you?"

Zexion almost groaned, though he couldn't blame the boy. He had been almost as bad. "Because we give a damn that's why." Roxas snarled. "Like hell you do." Zexion snapped.

"We do. I've not exactly had a life of flowers and fucking sunshine either you know. Yours might be worse but damn I still understand. And Demyx was there during mine and so he understands. Riku went through it with me and Axel- you have him wrapped around your finger if you'd take a moment to actually look." He fell silent again and Roxas said the only thing that came to mind.

"I have Axel wrapped?" Demyx chortled. "Figures you'd pick the most unimportant thing to focus on." Roxas shrugged and glanced back down. There was silence that nobody was willing to break.

"We hate Cloud." The declaration was soft but still cut through the air.

"Our parents died when we were eleven and he had just turned eighteen. They said the deaths were 'accidental' but suspicious. Nothing was ever found to confirm either. Cloud didn't even give them a choice; he adopted us less than a week after the funeral. We adored him, me especially. Sora was mom's favorite; I had Cloud. A few months after he adopted us he started dating this guy. I hated him but Cloud liked him so I tolerated him and his friends. They were still together when he turned twenty-two. I still hated him." He fell silent again. "Cloud was different after the first year or so; more cold; distant but not really enough to notice."

There was another pause. "When we were seventeen we were placed in Witness Protection after we were released from the hospital. When we turned eighteen I took us both and we ran. Here we are. The end."

"So what's your real last name? Nobody knows it." Roxas shrugged. "I'm not sure. We could use his of course, or the one we thought was it, but neither are true so we go nameless. Easier to go unnoticed at any rate."

Axel nodded at the words. "That makes sense." Outside the snow picked up and Roxas felt a moments stab of panic for Sora. "I was in a foster home from the time I was seven until I was nearly thirteen. I wasn't a good kid. Couldn't pass a drug test by age nine and already had a record. I met Riku, drug him into, then met Demyx and Axel and they drug us back out."

Roxas looked up as Zexion finished but didn't say anything. Really what do you say when you're pouring out life stories?



He was saved as the front door opened and a flustered looking Riku and Sora trouped in.

Roxas caught his eye. Ok? He nodded and smiled, eyes darting to the others with a questioning glance.

What happened? Roxas raised an eyebrow. Later. 

Sora dropped the bags off at the table and came to sprawl across Roxas again. "It's picking up snow outside."

Riku announced. "I thought the blizzard wasn't until tomorrow." Demyx shrugged. "The weatherman is an idiot." He turned a charming smile to Roxas. "Can we stay if it gets too bad?"

Roxas had opened his mouth to respond (_Or you can leave now and not get caught in it.) _when Sora nodded. He grumbled. "Fine. Somebody can use Sora's room and then there's the sofa that folds out." Demyx grinned.

"Thank you thank you thank!" Roxas groaned.

* * *

**(1)- This is a real thingy. It's very cool and I love it. Modified text from the website and I spruced up the box to make it sound cooler. It belongs to the genius that created it and not me.**

**A/N 2: So who has any idea of what's going on? Also, I'm proud of myself. Over 6,000 words and it didn't take as long as I thought (the last 5,000 words were finished today in about four hours. God my fingers hurt. Damn sudden inspiration.). **

**Also the next update A) Won't be for a while as I'm going out of town for an unknown amount of time for a wedding and B) Will not be this long. You'll get 2,000, maybe 3,000 and that's it. **


	10. AXEL that spells Allspice Berry

_**Warnings: Child molestation, implied non-con/rape, homosexuality, child abuse  
**_

"_How could you?" He looked pained, but I didn't delude myself for a moment. Delusions were what got us in this in the first place. Delusions like the fact that he cared. "Please understand I…I just couldn't…and he-" I cut him off. _

_"You could have dumped us out; we would have made it!" He's shaking his head before I even finish. "No..no. I have to go; he's coming and I wasn't supposed to see you two." I sneer; fixing him with as cold a glare as I can muster as I fight for a witty comment to hide the fear gripping me. "Why?"_

Up until then I had almost forgotten he was there with us he had been so quiet. But now his broken, whispered question hangs in the air and I feel my heart clench. He looks so lost, so betrayed and nothing has even happened yet. His bottom lip quivers and he visibly fights to keep the tears gathering from spilling over as he gazes up at the man who swore to protect us; the one adult we thought we could trust.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, and my brother seems to collapse. "I don't believe you." I don't think I've been prouder. "I don't care." I could kill him for that comment. "Good; neither do we." The pride is back. Without a word he turns and leaves, the door slamming close behind him and leaving us in silence once again.

_I don't look at him. I can't. I'm shaking –from fear? Anger? Betrayal?- and I take a moment to collect myself. Now isn't the time for me to break down; not when he needs me. After a moment I turn and see he's already staring at me, watery eyes unblinking and oddly mature. "What's going to happen?" I can't think of anything to say that will calm his fears. "Were we that much trouble?" _

_I shake my head. "No. He's not right…he has to not be…" He smiles, and shakes his head. "He turned us over to them. He's perfectly sane. There's no excuse." I swallow; my throat is dry. I hadn't realized until then just how much I had hoped for that to be true. "Sora…" It was no more than a breath and yet that name sounded more lost than anything I could ever imagine could come from me. _

_He looks up, and he smiles. "Roxas." I pull him into my arms and he cries and I pretend I'm not too. I can't hold him tight enough. I wonder which of us needs it more; me to hold or him to be held?_

_Time doesn't exist in the room. We do nothing but sit and talk; sometimes we eat, but most of the time we can't bring ourselves to keep it down. I hate it. I want something to happen to break this stillness. As if on cue the door opens and _he _is there. _

_I hate him but can't find strength to do more than glare. He advances towards Sora and at once I throw myself between them. He sighs and signals and the others come in. I'm slammed against the nearby wall and Sora is snatched up. I hate the way he looks at him, and at once everything clicks into place. "No more…no more…" Oh god not again. They haven't touched __us for weeks. "Please take me instead." He's struggling and so am I. He turns a baleful yet pleading look to one of my captors. "How could you do this to us?" He's slammed into the wall. Again. Again. _

_I blink in time with each thud, mouth moving wordlessly. I've already learned what happens if I cry out. "Please don't hurt him anymore." I plead for him; it seems my normally placid brother has swapped personalities with me. "I trusted you." He glares and I realize I've never seen him so angry. " I'll never make that mistake again." He's still fighting but it does no good; it's just as effective as every time before. But something changes. Sora's eyes widen as his pants are jerked undone._

"_Sora I'm so sorry." Why must I watch? Oh gods please no. "I'll never be able to make this up to you." One of them growls at me. "Shut up." I can't see anymore and it takes a moment before I realize it's because of tears. "Sora I'll get us out." I can barely form the words. My brother always has been my biggest weakness. A blow to my face sends me spluttering and reeling; my head bounces off wood and I realize I've been thrown. _

_He's being drug to the door when I finally clear the stars. He's crying now. "Please don't separate us." They pay him no mind. His pants are gone and they are seizing the chance. "Don't touch him!" I try to stand but my legs won't support me. "Sora…Sora…" The door slams shut and I am alone. I scream and hold myself, wishing the silence could be filled. I scream louder in a sad attempt to break it._

**x-x-x-x**

But then there is no silence and I'm wrapped in an embrace. There are muffled sobs and whispered words that ooze concern even in my muddled state; somewhere cars screech and horns blare as angry drivers attempt to convey their frustration.

There is a soothing melody in my ears; a breathy whisper that holds a tune only barely. I'm shaking but the arms I'm in don't loosen and somewhere near my ear a voice continues its song. I'm still trying to figure out where I am, but I know I feel safer than I have. Whoever it is has a unique smell that both relaxes me and sets my nerves on fire. It reminded me of cinnamon, but more fruity. I relaxed further as the voice started another song.

_No more talk of darkness,  
forget these wide-eyed fears;  
I'm here, nothing can harm you,  
my words will warm and calm you._

"Does this happen often?" The whisper broke into the murmured words. "Yes." The small voice broke through whatever haze I had been in. Instantly I was struggling. The arms tightened. "I got you Roxie. Sora's fine." I didn't remember the voice. Red fell into my vision and I stilled. Who did I know with red hair? "Axel…" There was a small chuckle. "Hey blondie. Sora is right there with Riku and Demyx. Zexion went to fix tea or some other herbal shit that we all have to drink." I gave a tired laugh and snuggled closer. "You smell good." I felt the disbelief. "I should comfort you more often."

I didn't answer, just clung closer until my sanity slammed back. I pushed him away and landed with a slight thud on the floor, glowering up at the concerned face above me. "Don't touch me. Pervert." I mumbled, turning to gaze at the three by the door. Sora was cowering in Riku's grasp and I felt a moment of both self-loathing and possessiveness. I held open my arms and he slid into them immediately. I felt an odd moment on triumphant that he would still choose me over him. "What happened?" He asked, clutching me. "The room."

He shifted back to look at me, eyes wide and teary already. "Rox…" I felt myself tearing up again and looked away in a sad attempt to control them. "That day?" I swallowed. "Yeah."

**x-x-x-x**

The tea was disgusting but soothed my nerves anyway. I found out that Zexion had left in the middle of the storm to get the ingredients. My respect for him increased, especially after he dumped a generous amount of alcohol in the glasses. It burned as I swallowed but I was thankful for it. My throat was already on fire as it was. Sora sat in beside me on the floor, with Axel and Riku on the couch on their respective sides. Axels' leg was pressed against my shoulder and my head was resting lightly on his knee.

One hand was combing through my hair and, though I would deny it, I leaned into his touch. I had forgotten about that incident, though forgotten probably wasn't the right word. I had shoved it out of my mind, to be forgotten until I was ready to deal with it. At least that's what Dr. Aerith had told me before we had left the hospital. I didn't see how I was ready to deal with it even now, but apparently I could.

Sora was distracted and clutching my hand to the point I felt my bones creak but I didn't complain. It was nice to feel grounded here instead of there. The room was silent but the tension was audible. Every so often somebody would collect the empty cups and refill them. I wasn't sure if it was the tea or the alcohol but I was calmer than normal after a nightmare of that proportion. I clenched the glass tightly with one hand and held Sora with the other. The clock ticked on. "Can we have a basic idea?" Sora answered. "No."

His voice was crisp and cool and held no room for argument; we would not tell. Except I suddenly wanted to. "Sora…" His gaze turned to me and I flinched at the darkness there. "No." I swallowed. "You trust them." The unspoken _I'll leave some things out _hung between us. I felt as though our personalities had switched, which wasn't terribly unusual for us. We stayed balanced, him and I. Which was why when he nodded and I was reluctant.

"If you don't want me to," I started. "We trust them." He sounded hesitant, and then added quietly. "We trust them with it." I shook my head. "Not all." He shrugged. "Your choice." I turned back to the expectant faces. "Flashback." I turned back to look at the cooling liquid in the glass. They didn't press me for information. "So," Axel said slowly. "Wild weather huh?"

**x-x-x-x**

None of us could sleep after that. So we popped in a movie, made popcorn, and piled together on the floor. Axel was as stuck to my side as Sora, and though I acted annoyed I was grateful. From the small smiles he directed at me, I think he knew it. One movie passed and then another. After the second one I lost track, slipping into that haze where sounds collide and the darkness slowly takes you over. The alcohol from before made my eyes heavy and my brain slow, but I decided I liked the feeling. Here, I could think over the dream –memory?- without feeling as if I was about to collapse into a panic attack. Though I didn't get far.

"Roxas, I think Sora is asleep." I blearily looked looked up at Zexions' smooth voice and then glanced over at my sleeping brother. My head cleared momentarily. "I'll take him to bed." I sat up but was stopped by a hand. "I can take him if you want." I raised an eyebrow. "Like I'd leave him with a pervert like you." He rolled his eyes. "First Axel and now me?" I smiled. "Of course." Oh yes, I did like this alcohol thing.

Odd how I had never tried it before. "You can take him." I turned to glower at Axel, who looked coolly back. "He isn't stupid enough to try anything, Roxie." From somewhere on the side, Demyx voice came. "Could you please hush? It's the good part!" Riku glanced at me and I glared while Axel nodded. Riku picked the sleeping Sora up carefully. My glare softened as Sora made a content sound and nestled into him; it dropped completely at the smile on Riku's face.

"They looked good together; kind of like Demyx and Zexion." I grunted and turned back to the movie. "Some colors just fit like that." I sighed and looked up to where he was leaning over the couch. "Are you going to let me watch this?" His smile was all teeth. "Why? You haven't seen a single minute of it anyway." I frowned and his smile softened. "You look tired." I shrugged and leaned my head back.

"I didn't get much sleep." He nodded and patted the space beside my head. "You're more than welcome up here." I scoffed. "And give you the chance to feel me up?" His smile slipped. "Do you really think I'd do that?" I paused, and then sighed and stood up. At his confused expression, I huffed. "Scoot." I pretended not to see his smile.



When I awoke I was cocooned in warmth that made me not want to move. My head throbbed slightly. I rolled over and took a deep breath, a familiar smell invading my senses. Slowly my eyes opened and I my sight was flooded with red. A soft murmur came from him and he shifted, accidently pulling me closer. I pulled back and looked at him. This was too surreal; I was still dreaming I knew it.

I reached up to run a finger down his cheek. It was softer than I thought. With his angular jaw I had expected sharpness but it wasn't. I followed my finger with my eyes as it went over the chin and then traced his thin lips. It skimmed over them and my breath caught before moving it up over his nose and forehead, finally slipping back down to his cheek.

I heard an intake of breath and my eyes shot to his open ones. They were green. I'd never noticed before. They were vivid and piercing; both calming and electric. They fit him perfectly. I couldn't look away, but this was a dream so what did it matter? My fingers brushed up his cheek again and he shuddered, eyes slipping shut briefly before they opened to stare once more in mine. His breath ghosted over my face as I leaned closer, but a hand stopped me. "Think." The word was roughly whispered and I swallowed. Suddenly I wasn't so sure of my 'dream' theory. Whatever I did was very real. His eyes were still looking at me, silently pleading. I closed the distance.

Our lips brushed and I sighed briefly. He pulled back and looked at me. "Roxie?" I took a breath. "Axel." His eyes bore into mine. "Is this…?" I nodded and leaned forward, hovering. "Yes." He made a small sound and leaned forward. It was deeper but still gentle and my hand moved from his cheek to his hair. A soft nibble on my bottom lip had me gasping and losing sight of those startling eyes as my own slammed shut.

It wasn't my first kiss by a long shot; before all the drama started I had quite a few. But this one had me feeling like a schoolgirl all over again. I was flying. There was a small swipe at my bottom lip and I opened it, meeting him halfway. He moved to my cheek and across my jaw, nipping almost playfully.

"Axel…" His name fell past my lips in a breathless moan that penetrated the fog of want and need and caused me to push myself off the couch. I stared up at him, breathing heavier than normal. His hair was slightly mussed, both from my hands and his sleeping position.

His lips were pinker than before and those eyes sparkled with something that hadn't been there before. I wanted nothing more than to climb back up. Instead I stood shakily, aware I was flushed, and smiled awkwardly before shooting out of the room muttering about Sora.

I slipped the bedroom door open and paused against the frame, willing the blood to return to where it should be. After a moment I peered onto the bed, only to raise an eyebrow. So that's where Riku had gone. Luckily for him Sora was under the cover and he wasn't, though they were far too close for my liking. _You and Axel were closer. _I hushed the voice and decided to let them sleep. They didn't seem to be touching beside the arm thrown over Sora anyway.

I grabbed some clothes (why did they decide to sleep in my room again?) and slinked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I undressed and turned the water on and for a long moment I just let it run over me. That was when I realized two things. One, I hadn't had a nightmare or even a dream last night. I couldn't remember the last time that had happened. And two? I was hard since God-doesn't-even-remember.

Dammit.

**A/N: I could go into a long story about how my computer caught a virus and I lost all my files and only just got them back...but that's boring. SO!**

I apologize for taking such a long time and I hope this chapter (however rushed) at least soothes your nerves. From here on out the updates will be as regular as they ever were, and I'm attempting to move the plot along and post longer, and more frequent, chapters.

**If you have the time please review. I want to know if I'm moving the plot too fast and what you are thinking so far.**

_Apologies for the delay once more,_

FlawlessBeauti

* * *


	11. Past, Present, Future

**I only just realized that I made Zexion's history the same as Riku's, except for minor details.  
Honestly that was accidential, but I suppose we can say it was one of the reasons they clicked in the foster home? -winces-

* * *

**

**Axel's POV**

"You kissed him?" I winced and took a sip of coffee. "Demyx hush before you wake Sora and Riku up. Yes, I kissed him. Well, he kissed me and then I returned the favor?" He squealed and I shot a pleading look to the smirking Zexion. "Demyx." He said softly. The high pitched noise stopped at once. "Sorry. So how did it happen?" I shrugged. "He woke up and then woke me up and he kissed me."

They were quiet for a moment before Zexion spoke up. "Was it any good?" I looked up at him. "it would have been better if he hadn't had that look on his face." Demyx quirked an eyebrow. "What look?" I sighed and turned to look out the window. "The I-regret-doing-that look." I didn't need to see them to know the look they exchanged.

* * *

His scent surrounded me, and no amount of body wash or shampoo was washing it off. It was comforting and exciting; my body reacted just from smelling it. I felt comforted by it. I wanted it gone more than anything. He scared me, I thought as I scrubbed my hair for the third time. I had never met somebody quite like him and it scared me. He was wild and immature, but seemed the most responsible out of us all.

He was easy going and serious; he made me want to talk. I felt comfortable around him. I had never been more terrified of a person before. A knock had me jumping and slipping, my head hit the wall and a curse was spat out. I heard the door open and then shut again quickly. "Roxas?" Fuck it all. I poked my head out and smiled. "Sora?" He fidgeted. "Can I shower with you?" My eyes narrowed automatically. We hadn't done that in years. He only did that when something…at once I was murderous. "What the hell did that-?" He shook his head quickly. "No no! Riku didn't do anything I swear. I just…" He gave a helpless shrug and I sighed. "Yeah, come on. But you're going to tell me what's wrong."

He nodded and I went back to rinsing my hair. In record time a blast of cold air hit me and then was gone just as quickly. I finished and looked up; giving a smile at how awkward he looked. "You're the one who wanted to do this." I reminded him, causing him to blush. "Yeah, I know. Sorry." I shrugged and reached for the shampoo. "Turn." He smiled and did as instructed, letting me lead him under the spray and then back out again. I squirted some into my hand and began scrubbing it into his hair as he sighed.

"So what's going on?" I asked, massaging in the foam. "I talked to Demyx." I hummed. "And Zexion." I wasn't seeing where this was going, and he obviously knew this as he took a breath. "They were in the kitchen. With Axel." My fingers lost their rhythm before they continued. "Really?" He nodded. "Right 

before Axel left." When I didn't say anything he gave another sigh. "He's going to talk to his mom." I moved to the side as he rinsed his hair. He caught my arm as I moved to grab the next bottle, and my gaze darted to him. "He's decided to tell her he's gay. Riku went with him." I choked on air. "What possessed him to come out to his mother the day after Christmas exactly?" Sora held my gaze. "He kissed this guy." I flinched. "And he decided he liked him, but he couldn't very well do anything when nobody knew how he was. So he decided to start small." I gurgled, and he momentarily looked amused before he turned serious.

"You like him, and even though I'd rather you be dating a nice guy like Demyx," here we both paused to snort at the image, "I approve." I shook my head. "I don't like Riku, but you do." He shrugged, then grinned. "And yeah, you do like Riku." I shook my head. "I don't like him or Axel." Sora smirked and dropped my arm. "Yeah, whatever." He turned serious again. "If you like him, then go for it. He already knows a bit and he's seen you at your worst, so when something happens he won't be surprised." He said reasonably. I narrowed my eyes at the nonchalance.

"How long have you waited for this?" He grinned. "Two weeks ago." I groaned, smacking him as he turned the water off. "That's cruel, and if I used your logic I could ask when you and Riku will admit-." He scowled. "Don't finish that sentence." I laughed, throwing him a towel. "You did bring clothes didn't you?" He flushed and pasted on a pleading look. "Let me get dressed."

"Hello?" I asked as Demyx continued some story. "Blondie?" I paused, brow furrowing before stepping outside and shutting the door firmly. "Axel, where are you?" He gave a tired laugh. "We're at some coffee house down the street." I leaned against the wall. "Are you alright?" He gave a choked sound and suddenly Riku was on the phone. "Roxas?" I gave a noise of acknowledgement. "It didn't go too hot and he's…do you think you could get down here?" I paused, swallowing. "All of us or just me?" I could almost see him run a hand through his hair as he sighed.

"Just you, and I'll come back and get them." I gave another noise of acknowledgement and the call ended. I took a breath and walked back inside. "Axel…" I hesitated. "I'm going to a coffee shop down the road. Riku will be here soon." Sora looked at me for a moment. "That bad?" He asked quietly. I shrugged. "Apparently."He bit his lip. "And he wants you to be there with him?" I shrugged again, grabbing the car keys from beside the door. "Apparently." He gave a sudden grin. "You're going?" I flushed. "Shut up." I made sure to slam the door harder than necessary.



* * *

The shop was inside the bookstore Zexion had taken me, the back part, and I walked through the crowd of people as quickly as I could. I noticed Axel's hair as soon as I stepped inside and made a beeline for his table. Axel looked up as I approached and my throat tightened at his red eyes. He gave me a grin, crossing his legs under the round table casually. "Hey Roxie." His voice was raspy and only confirmed the redness was from tears. Riku craned his head to look at me and stood up in the same motion. "I'll go on and get them."

I nodded, tucking the keys into my pocket and taking his seat across from Axel. "That's your drink by the way; I haven't touched it." I nodded again, wrapping my hands around the steaming cup and looking into the brownness; unconsciously mimicking Axel's position. We stayed silent as Riku walked out and eventually I took a sip of the drink. He deemed it time to speak. "I, uhm, I talked to my mom." He cleared his throat and took a quick sip. "We haven't really spoken since she found out Zexion was dating Demyx, and that I knew about it and was still friends with them." I took another sip and wondered why people deemed me somebody they could spill their life stories to.

"Her and my dad has always been kind of…weird. Major religious people but nobody is really sure what their religion is." He paused and crossed his arms, clearing his throat again. "But apparently…" He trailed off and gave me a sharp look. "Did Riku tell you why I went there?" I shook my head. "No, but Sora did." He nodded and resumed looking miserable. "Apparently not liking girls is a no-no in their book." His voice cracked at the last word and I took another drink to remove the sudden clogging –I must be coming down with something- from my throat.

"So when I told them there was nothing they could do to change my mind they disowned me." He stuttered over the last two words before burying his face on his arms. I stared at him, unsure what to do. Technically this was my fault; if I hadn't kissed him this wouldn't have happened. I wanted to comfort him, but everything I could think of involved physical contact of some kind, and I wasn't big on that. On the other hand I couldn't get over the fact that Axel was crying. I never pegged him as the crying type. Get mad and hit things yes, but not cry.

Some insane part of me wanted to laugh, even though I found this far from humorous. I wondered if my parents were still alive, would they accept the fact that I was…what was I exactly? I didn't have a clue. I looked at Axel again and remembered this morning; remembered how even now if I tried I could still feel him against me. I remembered Namine and holding her, kissing her. I still didn't have a clue, but a sudden whimper had me berating myself for getting lost in thought. Hesitantly I scooted my chair closer and skimmed my hand on his shoulder, unsure of how he's react. He turned and buried his face in my chest. My arm closed over his reflexively, even as I tried not to flinch away.

It wasn't different from holding Sora really, I thought as I wrapped my other arm around him. His hair is mostly in my face but I find I don't care, especially when his hands grasp at my shirt. I never thought I'd enjoy comforting somebody, but I do. An ache starts in my chest at the noises he makes and all I want to do is make them stop. The minutes pass and gradually his shaking stops but he doesn't move and I don't move him. "I'm sorry." The words are out before I realize it; my thoughts vocalized. He pulls back and I only then realize he's practically in my lap.

"For what?" His voice is ragged again and I can't stand his watery eyes. I look away. "It's my fault right? If I hadn't…" I trail off. He doesn't move. "If you hadn't what?" His voice holds a slightly playful tone that pales in comparison to how he normally is, but it's a start and I'm relieved. "If I didn't kiss you this wouldn't happen." He gives a low chuckle. "Roxie this has been a long time coming; I just finally found the push I needed." Somehow I'm looking at him again and he's smiling, I shift and the smile drops, like he just realized where he is. He started to pull back with mumbled apologies but my grip tightens. He stops and looks confused. I turn away again but my grip doesn't loosen. Another minutes passes in silence before his head is tentatively nestled on my collarbone with a sigh.

"What does this mean Roxas?" He has his serious voice again; the one I've only heard twice before. I try to swallow but my mouth is already moving. "I don't know." That isn't reassuring but it isn't a lie. "But I think I don't mind it, so it's alright." I'm surprised to realize that isn't a lie too. I feel him grinning and pinch his arm, causing a muffled curse but the grin doesn't go away. "Then it was all worth it." He mutters, and I feel like a douche. A worthless, self-hating, undeserving douche. "Honestly I leave you two alone for half an hour and you cozy up?"

I glance up (when had I dropped my head on Axel's?) when Riku speaks up, obviously amused. I go to scowl but Axel looks up and beats me to it. "Shove it Riku. It isn't my fault you aren't getting any." It takes Sora and Riku both blushing for me to understand. "He better not be anytime soon either." I basically snarl. He tactlessly moves behind a grinning Demyx. "This is wonderful! Roxas doesn't look as murderous as he did and Axel doesn't look suicidal now!" We both glare at him, not that it does any good. "We aren't together." I state. They turn to look at me.

Surprisingly Axel doesn't, and instead opt to take a drink. "We aren't together." He confirms, and my face matches the others. "Then what are you?" He gives a careless shrug. "At the moment? In Roxie's arms. Relationship wise? No idea." He leans back casually and I decide I like it as long as I'm the one in charge. "But I don't mind that." He gives me a grin that's all teeth and I decide I agree.

A sudden crash has us all turning, and I blink several times. For a long moment we just sit there, staring at each other. He suddenly croaks out my name and I stand up. He staggers forward and without a thought I'm wrapping him in a hug. I notice he's taller than me now, and shaking. We finally pull away and more staring issues. "I thought…we all thought….oh god Roxas I thought you were dead." I finally realize the shaking are sobs and we're hugging again. I'm torn between laughing and crying even as I wonder why the hell he's there.

"After you left things…they just…Olette tried for suicide and we all…" he stopped and shook his head, laughing awkwardly. "I can't believe you're alright." Roxas tried to speak but he couldn't. It was just too much, too soon. A soft cough and Roxas turned at the timid sound as Sora stepped c loser. His eyes widened and he stepped forward with a grin. "Sora?" The brunette gave a laugh and they clasped hands. It was then he noticed the extensions. "Who are they?" He asked quietly. I sighed and gave a vague wave of my hand.

"They're Demyx, Zexion, Riku, and Axel and we have a lot to talk about." He looks at me. "Hell yeah we do." I nod. "I suppose you'll be coming along?" Zexion at least as the grace to give me a chance for privacy. "Only if you don't mind." I shake my head. "I don't think so." I turn back to the blond and give him a rare grin. "I guess you'll get to see the apartment." He nods and Demyx speaks up. "Who is he?" I sigh and look back at him. "Hayner."

**

* * *

**

**Alot of you will probably wonder how Axel got over the fact his parents disowned him so quickly.  
A) He didn't.  
B) He was expecting it.  
C) Roxas acknwoledged they have a 'thing'.  
So no, we will be hearing more from darling Axel fairly soon.**

**And now Roxas' past returns with some unanswered questions and harsh realities. To go ahead and warn you, Zexion's past will also be popping up fairly soon. Isn't that exciting?**


	12. Moving backwards to Move Forward

**A/N: I apologize a thousand times for taking forever to get this chapter out. I had the worst time in the history of writer's block to figure out what I wanted to say. But, I'm here now, the story is (mostly) back on and we're good to go. =]**

**Warnings: Mentions of pedophilia, child abuse, strip-tease.  
**

* * *

That, Roxas decided as he collapsed on the couch, was the most difficult conversation he'd had. Listening to Hayner talk had dredged up painful memories and exhausted him, both mentally and physically. By the time he had left, claiming he was staying with some Seifer guy that caused Zexion to flinch, Roxas was ready to collapse. And collapse he did, after he had made sure Sora was sleeping peacefully against Riku and he had poked his head in to check on Demyx and Zexion, sleeping soundly in Sora's room. He gave a soft groan and pushed his head into the pillow, releasing a sigh.

"Hey." He looked up as Axel's unusually soft voice cut through his inner turbulence. He gave a soft grunt in response, causing his companions lips to twitch in amusement before settling back into an uncharacteristic frown. "Can I sit down?" Roxas frowned and peered up at him. "Since when do you ask?" Axel gave a sheepish shrug and sat on the armrest closest to his head as Roxas buried his face against the pillow again. He sighed as long fingers begin to work their way through his tangled hair, gently working out the knots.

He expected questions. _So you and Sora were…? _Was among the first he was expecting. But Roxas had forgotten this was Axel, and Axel never did anything you would expect normal people to. After a long silence, in which Axel's fingers never ceased their de-tangling mission and Roxas was almost asleep, he spoke. "Tell me about Hayner." The drowsiness left, but only for a moment and then he was mumbling through sleep-heavy lips about the one he considered his best friend. After that it was hard to stop. He spoke about Pence and Olette, and how most of the good times he remembered happened when one of them was around. He spoke of Namine, his first crush, and how she had helped him realize which way he swung.

"She was always smart," he slurred. "Even though I was older." Roxas spoke for what seemed like hours, with Axel remaining silent and by his side, minus the one time he poured them both something to drink. With every word he spoke the tiredness went away and Hayner's words returned, dredging up feelings and memories he thought were long ago buried. By the time he finished, the tears were hot and scalding against the back of his throat. "I know you have questions." He muttered, swallowing past the acidic taste. Axel was silent and after a moment his hand was removed.

Roxas shut his eyes tightly, only to have them fly open as the couch sunk and Axel tugged him over to him. "Questions later." He said, wrapping his arms around Roxas. He didn't say anything about how Roxas didn't speak, or how he shook as his shirt was soaked.

They sat there side by side in comfortable silence as the sun rose behind them. Roxas broke it by turning his head and looking up at Axel who, after a minute or so, felt the gaze and looked down. "What is it, blondie?" Roxas broke eye contact but after a moment re-established it.

"If I asked you to do something, would you?" Axel raised an eyebrow. "Will it get me killed?" Roxas gave a semblance of a smile. "Maybe, but it'll make me feel better." The other boy smirked. "Sure, why not? I have a death wish."  
"Kiss me."  
"What?"

The smirk slipped off his face at the serious tone. "Kiss me?" Roxas repeated, this time phrasing it as a question. "Are you sure? This isn't some I-feel-needy-mmphf." Roxas pulled back. "No." Axel bit his lip, but after a moment nodded. "Ok." He murmured, clearing his throat and repeating the word. "Ok." He cupped Roxas' jaw and ran a thumb across his cheek before moving closer until their faces were aligned. "Beautiful." He breathed into his ear, nuzzling the blond hair slightly before pulling back and brushing their lips together. This went on, the gentle, almost there kisses, until Roxas pulled back and grasped Axel's chin with a hand. "Don't think this is because of what he said." He muttered harshly in the pre-dawn light streaming through the window.

"I want you, and I…I trust you." The end of the sentence was barely spoken, but Axel didn't need to hear it again. He pulled them closer but stopped just short of touching. "You're in control." He said before pressing them together and hoisting Roxas into his lap in one fluid gave out a slight gasp of surprise but adjusted fairly quickly, immediately dominating the kiss and rolling his hips slightly. One hand found itself buried in the fiery red hair and the other traveled between them, touching. He tugged on the others shirt and nipped at the bottom lip slightly when it was removed; a few seconds later and they were chest to chest. Roxas shifted slightly, slowing things down. Biting his lip he shut Axel's eyes and sat back a bit, staring.

He looked different without the startling green eyes, Roxas thought a bit dazedly. Younger. He ran a finger down the cheek that had looked so prominent just moments before and over the thin lips before swiping the closed eyes gently. Axel's eyelashes fluttered at the touch but remained still, breath coming in shallow puffs. He moved his hands over the chest before him, tracing old scars and the lean muscles that made it up. They traveled further down to the hem of his jeans and, after barely a split second pause, moved to undo the button. Pale hands clasped over his, effectively pausing the action.

Roxas glanced up in slight shock, eyebrows raised in question. Axel stared back calmly and Roxas realized this was serious Axel. He pursed his lips. "What?" Axel shook his head. "I don't want to do this." Roxas raised an eyebrow. "I'm repulsive?" Axel gave a crooked smile and shook his head. "Not at all. You aren't ready and-" he cut in as Roxas open his mouth angrily. "-neither am I." Axel moved smoothly and soon Roxas was on his back with Axel hovering over him. "For now we sleep. But don't think for a moment you won't owe me for this." With a mischievous wink and slight leer that had Roxas rolling his eyes he curled beside him and pulled him close.

* * *

Shadows dance across the wall but my eyes are glued to you. In all my wildest fantasies I never dreamed I'd be seeing you like this. Now that I am I can't fully absorb it. But I can enjoy the sight. You sway slowly and I can't help but shudder in delight as you walk closer to me. Your hips move to music only you can hear as your shirt slides over your head, messing with your locks even more until they are mussed sexily.

I have just enough time to wonder how everything you do is amazing when you're running your hands over yourself and I forget to breath. You toss your head back as your nails scrape lightly against the small pink flesh on your chest and I feel my own body arching in return. You smirk and your hands move downward slowly, tracing patterns as they reach your jeans. You pause and lock your eyes with me. I want to look away but, as always, they captivate me. I hear a soft click and the sound of a zipper and you give a soft smile before bending slightly. My eyes travel further down and I gasp. You let them drop, kick them to the side and for the first time I can see that you're as turned on by this as I am.

_I love doing this. Somehow, with your eyes on me, I feel like the sexist man in the world .I never dreamed you would ever effect me this way but here we are, your eyes wide and mouth slightly open and me enjoying myself like never before. I move to my own beat; my hips roll here as I sashay closer and then dip as my hands move to remove my shirt. I have your undivided attention and I feel a thrill run through me. My head is tossed back and I momentarily lose sight of you but it's worth it when I'm looking at you again. Your eyes are dark and you sit just a tiny bit straighter as I catch your eye. My hands lower and your lip trembles as the sound cuts through the air and I move downward slightly as yours eyes travel down the length of my body. I smirk and step out of them and you look at me with such want I feel my mouth go dry._

For just a moment you let your mask drop and I can see how much you want this; how scared you are of rejection. Which is ridiculous, as I'd never do that. I work furiously to make my mouth work but any brain power I had is currently focused on much more important tasks so I hold out a hand instead and pretend it isn't quivering. I can tell you notice but it seems to be the reassurance you need because you step closed and slide your hand into mine. Your hand is so rough even though it looks smooth. It's rougher than mine and I would take the moment to be surprised if I was not already very, very busy. So instead I tighten my grip just a bit and pull you closer. You come willingly and before I know it your straddling me with only a sheet and cotton boxers separating us, hands running over my chest and making me wonder if you'd tell if I came pre-maturely. I'd never had the problem before but I seem to be having many firsts with you.

I reach up and cup your hips slightly as your hands continue their exploration. You sit up slightly on your knees and move the cover away so it's bunched behind you. Every time you move delicious friction shoots up and I bite my lip to bite back a moan. You notice anyway and bite your lip in turn. Experimentally you roll your hips and I can't stop the soft noise that escapes me. I expect you to smirk but you don't; instead moving again in the same way. You lean down until we're breathing each other's air and smile. "I love those sounds you make." Words have never affected me as much as those did right then.

Your hips never pause even as your own breath became ragged and your nails dig into my shoulders. I could feel the tension building up and I knew without a doubt I would not last much longer, however loathe I was to admit it. Stars began to dance around my eyes and I was closer and closer still. You were gasping deliciously in my ear and I felt my body began to arch off the bed.

* * *

Sora watched in something akin to amusement as they pressed closer together. Really this was enough blackmail material for years to come. "Sora?" Sora quickly made a hushing noise as Riku entered the kitchen. He nodded toward the couch and watched as Riku's eyes grew wide and a smirk started to grow. "You're joking." Sora shook his head and his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. Riku lifted a chair and sat it down, sitting in it and grinning. "This will be fun." Sora nodded and passed him his coffee cup, leaning against the table softly. Roxas shifted in his sleep and his face immediately flushed, causing snickers from the two onlookers. "Doesn't this feel like voyeurism to you?" Sora paused for a moment and then shrugged with a wicked smile that caused Riku to muffle laughter.

"Yeah, it is way too fun to stop." About that time Axel gave a jerk and hit the floor. "Fuck." He half shouted, causing Roxas to jerk awake as well and tumble. With a shocked gasp he landed on top on the red head and they both cursed. Sora and Riku shared a look, bit their lips, and scurried from the room. A shut and locked door later they both stared at each other for a solid minute before Sora jerked and moaned softly. They both burst out laughing simultaneously, clutching their sides. Several minutes passed in which they struggled to control their mirth. When the room was mainly silent again, Riku turned to Sora and flashed a smile. Sora smiled back and concentrated on not blushing.

Over the next few days the apartment stayed full. Hayner was over before lunch and left only when the sun was close to rising. The rest of the guests had basically moved in, though made random trips that often lasted longer than they should. Sora and Roxas were glad; they –surprisingly- didn't mind having people around, but every so often the quiet was welcomed. It was a daily relief they were around people who understood that. Life was, for once, treating Roxas fairly well. It really shouldn't have been a surprise, he thought bitterly later on, that it would deem it time to mess it up again.

He would never admit it, but he wasn't even sure what had caused the fight. Nobody was, really. But by the time the group came back from grocery shopping it had exploded into an all out feud. They walked in on a furious looking Sora and an absolutely baffled Roxas. "Sora, I don't know what I did." Roxas said, hands in front of him. Sora glared at him bitterly. "No, of course you don't." His blue eyes confused, Roxas took a small step closer to his brother. "Sora, if you could tell me I could help-" Sora's look pinned him in place. "What, like you 'helped' last time?" At once both of their faces paled and Roxas staggered backwards.

Sora, eyes wide, held out a trembling hand. "Roxas, I…" Roxas made a swift motion and let out a jaded laugh, expression changing instantly. "No, go ahead Sora. It's all my fault right? Because I didn't see the full picture until it was too late. Because I took too long to get us out. Or is it because I didn't convince the police in time to stop it again, right?" Sora was shaking his head slowly, tears slowly running down his cheeks. "I didn't mean it." Roxas gave another laugh and turned away, noticing the people in the doorway for the first time. "Oh hello." He said with a smile, eyes emotionless.

"Have you come to tell me how I've messed up your life too? At least it was nothing like I did to Sora's. At least, I haven't done it yet." Ignoring the whispered plea for him to please stop Roxas cocked his head. "But who knows how long it will be? What was is you called me Sora?" He threw over his shoulder. "A curse, was that it?" Sora had sunk to his knees during this, his entire frame shaking. Roxas tsked before turning away and walking towards the door. "Don't worry Sora darling. I've messed up your life enough; I won't do it again." He eased past the shell-shocked group and left the building.

When night had fallen and there was still no word from Roxas, the group started to panic. Though perhaps that was an understatement, considering that is precisely what they had been doing since they walked in on the supposedly 'inseparable' brothers fighting. Attempts to reach him by his cell phone were for naught, and Roxas had no favorite places in the city. The only thing they did know, actually, was that he hadn't taken his car; nobody knew if it was a blessing or a curse. As the blizzard picked up speed outside and Axel tore the tile off the kitchen inside, Sora cried.

Riku held him awkwardly as Demyx and Zexion watched the laps Axel made. The only sound in the kitchen was the sound of Axel's footsteps and Demyx as he jiggled his leg. This is why, when Axel's phone started ringing, everyone jumped. He dove for it immediately and had it to his ear a second later. "Are you alright?" Were the first words to leave his mouth, and everyone looked at him with hopeful eyes. His brow furrowed, he didn't look at any of them. "I understand. Alright." He snapped it shut and looked at them. "I'm leaving. Don't ask, don't worry. I'll bring him back when I come." This made Sora have a new bout of hysterics and Zexion nodded as he walked him to the door. "Hurry, and take his coat." Axel nodded, and was out the door.

The directions he had given were simple and led to a clock tower not far from his apartment. When he reached the top it was to the sight of Roxas dangling his feet over the edge, snow clinging to his shoulders and hair. Axel walked over and draped the coat over him before sitting beside him without a word. After some time Roxas leaned his head on the others shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. "It wasn't your fault you know." Axel's voice surprised him; he hadn't meant to say that aloud. "You don't know that." Biting his lip he weighed his options. "I could." He felt the smaller frame stiffen.

"You'd hate me." Leaning his face down onto the blond locks he felt a fierce emotion sweep over him. "Never." He whispered furiously, and something in his tone must have been what Roxas wanted to hear, because the defiance seemed to melt from him. There was silence, but Axel waited. And he was rewarded.

"I loved Cloud. He was like me; anti-social and moody. When Sora got all the attention –from mom and dad and the neighborhoods- I'd turn to Cloud. Not that I could blame them; Sora was a ball of light. Once you talked to him you were unfailingly loyal to him. He was innocent beyond belief and totally naïve. Even when our parents died that didn't change. And…I was almost glad they did, because it meant I got to live with Cloud. He still paid me more attention but that was alright, because Sora was getting it from everyone else and…" He cut off suddenly and when he resumed, it was much less frantic and back to the matter-of-fact tone. "When we first met him, he didn't seem so bad. But I hated him as soon as I saw him. I tolerated him and his friends for Cloud but I hated them all. When we turned fourteen, I noticed they looked at Sora more and more. And Cloud…he was a completely different person." He took a deep breath.

"Sora and I were never close growing up. I mean we were but…we were so different. He was a social butterfly and me? Not so much. Cloud always said I babied him. Our fifteenth Christmas started out the way they all had. Sora waking me up before noon and demanding presents. But this year, _they _came over too. It was after breakfast and we had sat down to open presents. Sora was just in pants and they watched us for a while before he took Cloud out of the room. There was fighting and I thought maybe-" He stopped abruptly. "It stopped eventually and they came back in, Cloud looking tired and slightly guilty and he…he looked pleased. It frightened me more than it should have." Axel was aware he wasn't breathing but he couldn't help himself. Everything in him was begging him to make him stop, already aware of where this was going. Instead he tightened his grip on the smaller boy. "They said they had a special gift." His voice was just a whisper.

"They took us to this room we hadn't seen before and they kept us there. Cloud came and…we realized we had no hope of escaping. But after a few months they grew careless and so we ran. Sora…fell behind. I didn't go back for him. It took me two days to convince the department I was serious. When they arrived the house was on fire and Sora had been locked in the room in the basement. They got him out and we were taken to a hospital and later given new identities and counseling. We still don't know where they are. It's why we came here."

Axel was silent, his thoughts swimming as fast as his stomach. He was torn between throwing up his dinner, sobbing, and hiring a detective. Damn those men. "What did they do to you?" Roxas shook his head softly, and Axel nodded. "Ok." Roxas lifted his head slowly. "Do you hate me now too?" Axel shook his head. "Oh no, no. Never. And nobody else does either." He paused for a second. "Do you want me to keep this to myself?" The real question was clear: _can I tell the others? _"Not everything." He nodded again. "Alright Roxie. We need to get you home though. The others are probably worried sick."

He knew they were; his phone vibrating nonstop in his pocket for the past hour. "Will you stay?" Axel looked down as Roxas looked up and his heart constricted. "Until you send me away." He promised, standing and scooping the smaller boy up. "Then you'll have to stay forever." He muttered sleepily as Axel started down the stairs. "That's fine with me." He murmured back.

* * *

When he walked in the front door, all activity stopped. They all stared, wide-eyed, as he carried the sleeping boy into the room. "I said I'd bring him back. I need to talk to you all, but it can wait. No, Sora is not allowed to see him. I don't care Riku. We're going to bed. Good night." He cut off each protest without a hard word and walked through, shutting the bedroom door with his hip. Sora shivered under the blanket on the couch and Riku glanced at him before turning back to Zexion. "What do you make of it?" Zexion looked thoughtful. "Sounds like he talked." Demyx looked at him, bloodshot eyes completely serious.

"Why isn't he allowed near Sora?" Zexion shrugged, obviously exhausted. "I'm sure we'll know when we hear the story. But he's back now so: bed." Nobody said anything as they went to their claimed rooms. Even thought they were exhausted, it was a while before any of them fell asleep. But when they finally did, they all slept for days.

It was a starving Sora that finally woke Riku up. He stared, disoriented, into the slightly guarded eyes that were inches above his own. "Yes?" His voice was scratchy from sleep and he stretched, rolling his shoulders to work out the kinks. As if in answer to his question Sora's stomach growled loudly and Riku chuckled, rubbing his eyes absently. He still felt completely exhausted. None the less he pulled himself off the couch and reached back, tugging the other one out as well. "We'll have breakfast while we wait for the others." He pushed Sora into a chair and, humming slightly, took out a pan and eggs.

"It's almost scary how well I know your kitchen." He said as he went from cabinet to cabinet. "And I swear I haven't been home in a month. My landlord's going to think I'm dead." He chuckled to himself, sitting two glasses on the table and filling them with juice before placing the finished omelets on two plates. He sat beside Sora and they started to eat quietly. "You think he's ok?" Riku glanced up, swallowing his bite slowly. "He will be, I think. He's a tough kid. He'll be alright." Sora sighed morosely but nodded. Riku placed his hand over the smaller one, causing its owner to look up in surprise. "_He'll_ be ok. How are _you_?" Sora dropped is gaze and shrugged jerkily as Riku removed his hand and went back to his breakfast.

Axel felt like he could stay exactly in this position forever. The person in his arms gave a slight whine in his sleep and Axels' arms instinctively tightened. His mind thought back to the events of yesterday and he blanched, shivering in the suddenly cool air. "Axel?" He glanced down at the confused voice, face softening. "Mornin'." Roxas' face started to scowl and then, as if a switch had been flipped, he paled and burrowed into his chest.

"You awake?" Roxas shook his head and Axel gave a small, if pained, smile. "We need to get up eventually. It's past noon on-" he glanced at his phone. "Thursday. Huh. We've missed almost a week of school." Roxas shrugged and Axel sighed, tossing the phone away again. "Alright blondie. We won't get up yet. But you'll food eventually." Roxas shook his head vehemently and Axel chuckled again. "Whatever you say."

When he woke up an hour later it was to Zexion shaking him gently and putting a hand over his mouth when he went to talk. Raising an eyebrow he glanced to his side and, seeing Roxas asleep, he nodded. "How is he?" Zexion asked, squatting beside the bed. "He's alright, all things considered. Doesn't want to leave the room though." Zexion nodded as though it was what he expected to hear.

"Riku, Sora, and I are in the living room. Demyx went out to get…I'm not sure actually what he went to get but whatever. He's gone. We won't ask questions when you two do come in there though." Axel nodded thankfully. "I'll tell you…what I can later." Zexion nodded again, patted his shoulder comfortingly, and left the room once more. Axel didn't sleep again.

"Don't wanna." Roxas was, Axel decided as he stared at the pouting blond, the cutest thing in the world when he was mentally exhausted and trying to sound stubborn. "Roxas, we have to get up. It's almost dinner." Roxas crossed his arms and Axel sighed. "They won't ask anything, I won't let Sora talk to you and you can keep your face buried in my shoulder if you want." When no answer was forthcoming he narrowed his eyes. "I'll carry you." Roxas didn't budge and Axel sighed as he walked over, pulling the covers off in one fluid movement and hoisting the boy in his arms in another.

Roxas clung to his shirt instantaneously and Axel couldn't help the fond smile. "You're quite clingy when you're depressed aren't you?" He muttered absently as he fumbled to open the door. "Not sure which 'you' I like better; this one or the psychopathic one." When they walked into the living room conversation only faltered before it picked up again and Demyx bounded over as they sat down, poking Roxas insistently until he looked up. "I got ice cream." He announced happily. Roxas and Axel stared at him. Demyx looked affronted. "You always get a gallon of ice cream per person when something happens. It makes you feel better." Axel raised an eyebrow but, noticing Roxas' interested look, said nothing. "It's sea salt." Demyx sang, prancing to the freezer and coming back with full arms.

Zexion gave Axel a pained look that clearly said 'get ready'. "So I was thinking after we devour this we go to the mall. Unless the blizzard is still bad, then we can-" Zexion interrupted smoothly. "Play video games and make sure Roxas doesn't get sick from being out in the cold? Demyx, you are so thoughtful." Demyx blushed and shoved the food in his hands before snuggling beside Axel, who looked helplessly at Zexion. "Roxas, eat." Demyx said, shoving a spoon between him and the redhead. Roxas looked thoughtful as he took a bite. Demyx held his breath, a look of pure concentration on his face. Roxas smiled and Demyx whooped.

By the time the day ended, Roxas was making sarcastic comments, though he refused to be more than a foot away from Axel at all times. He didn't once glance at Sora, who Riku was keeping involved in a board game. He didn't speak to him at all, until Sora cornered him on a midnight bathroom run. They stared at each other for a long minute before Sora gave a choked sob and lurched into his arms. "Hush Sora, it's fine." He said over Sora's muttered apology. He sat them in the floor and neither said another word until Riku found them that morning. He gave them a long look, nodded once and went back to the couch.

Demyx was the only one who didn't look at them strangely at breakfast. "So Sora, Roxas?" They glanced up. "My mom wants to meet you two sometime." Roxas shared a glance with his brother and shrugged. "Alright. Why?" Demyx opened his mouth, a mischievous glint in his eye, before Zexion clamped a hand over his mouth and smiled sweetly. "We've all talked about you so much and she's practically adopted us all; she wants to meet the newest additions."

Roxas hummed in agreement. "How much homework do we have?" Zexion winced, pulling his hand away and wiping it on his pants with a disgusted glare to this whistling Demyx. "Tons, but it's all fairly easy stuff so we'll be fine. Mostly reviews and we missed some tests. Nothing major." Roxas nodded again and Demyx sighed huffily. "Can we go see my mom tomorrow? It's Sunday and a perfect time!" Zexion frowned but Sora nodded and so that was that.

* * *

"So you're the boys who have captured the hearts on my other boys!" Roxas didn't know what to make of Larxene. She seemed nice, in a very Zexion way, but she absolutely terrified him. Sora seemed to agree, clamping his hand in a death grip. "She can be a bit intimidating." Riku breathed quietly. "She's really nice though, and she cares." Roxas looked incredulous, until her words caught up with him. "What?" Larxene gave a wicked smile. "Oh yes. You two are all they talk about. I don't think I've ever seen them so poetic." Riku, blushing, muttered something under his breath and Axel stared resolutely out the window. Roxas felt a smirk tug on his lips. "You talk about us?" He asked, cooing as he reached over to tug on Axel's cheek. "How _sweet_."

Axel batted his hand away, his own cheeks tinged pink now. "Shut up." Roxas grinned at Larxene and she, happy to find a partner in crime, leaned over the table. "And I'm glad they don't stay over as much anymore. Really I feel like we've gotten intimately acquainted and I hadn't even met you!" Roxas and her giggled and he shot a sly look at the two boys. "Oh do tell me more." Riku scowled and Zexion's amused voice cut in. "Now now Riku, this was your idea too." Demyx added his opinion, beaming. "No committing suicide with the spoon." Riku groaned and slammed his head on the table. Sora giggled and reached over, patting his shoulder lightly. He glanced up, his expression turning pleading. "Please kill me now?" Sora shook his head, fighting back a smile. He groaned and sat his head back down with a thump.

"We should visit your mom more often Demyx." Roxas said happily as they rose in the elevator to his apartment. "I like her." Axel scowled. "You would. I doubt Riku will ever recover." Sora shot a glance at his and giggled, causing the boy to stare resolutely at the wall. Roxas shrugged. "You're just worried you won't ever recover." Axels' scowl deepened. "Bite me." Roxas, smirking, feigned surprise. "In front of all these people? Axel!"

As Axel turned four shades of red and spluttered and everyone laughed, Sora leaned over to Riku. "I think it's sweet." He whispered, brushing his lips over his cheek before leaning back into Roxas. He pretended not to see the utterly goofy smile on Riku's face; just like he pretended he wasn't smiling too.

* * *

**A/N2: I know it seems like they got over that quickly, but Roxas can't stay mad at Sora when he's obviously in pain. At least, that's my logic. **

**And no, Roxas isn't entirely over the 'fight' as you'll see later on. He's simply done what he does best and pushed it to the back of his mind.**


End file.
